Growing Our Family

Camels and Cornfields

2011-09-06T15:52:00.001-04:00

We rounded the corner on one of the winding German roads today

and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Camels grazing next to a cornfield!!

Crash Into Me – Again

2011-09-04T15:52:00.001-04:00

So we don’t have a great track record of not crashing into things while we are visiting Germany. Remember this? Today, at a faire at the Sababurg Zoo, Sarah continued this tradition. Shortly after this, she crashed two more times and then just sat in her stopped car crying. It was pitiful and adorable. Sweet girl.

Hector the Collector

2011-07-29T22:07:00.001-04:00

Hector the Collector
Loved these things with all his soul‹
Loved them more than shining diamonds,
Loved them more than glistenin' gold.
Hector called to all the people,
"Come and share my treasure trunk!"
And all the silly sightless people
Came and looked...and called it junk. – Shel Silverstein

Lukas likes to collect things. He will sit somewhere (usually the blue tunnel when it is folded or on of our laps) gather everything he can find, make a pile and sit on it. It is the funniest thing.

Here’s a video of Hector in action:

A picture of the bottom of his nest.

What a silly boy! :)

Battle of Target

2011-07-03T00:38:00.001-04:00

This is what happens when I take these two out! ;)

YouTube Video

Rapunzel Hair

2011-06-21T17:08:00.001-04:00

S is OBSESSED with Rapunzel right now so I made her a hair extension out of yarn. Since a few of you asked (via Facebook) for a tutorial, I made one today.

Step 1: Attempt to clean enough crap off your floor so that you won't have to photoshop the photos.

Step 2: I didn't have any extra adult hands so I strung my yarn between a table leg and a jar. They are approximately 14 feet apart.

Step 3: Pull yarn taut and clip loops at both ends (where they were wrapped around) making a bunch of yarn 14 feet long.

Step 4: Double by folding in half. (notice that I didn't clip the ends which caused me issues later - thus the reason for the inclusion into the directions!)

Step 5: Using a sturdy hair tie, tie a knot in the middle of the yarn around the hair tie.

Step 6: Braid as usual.

Step 7: Trim ends.

Step 8: Finished product!

Reward

2011-06-18T11:22:00.001-04:00

Her reward for good behavior was painting my nails!

Squinty Laugh

2011-03-23T08:56:00.001-04:00

For the past few weeks, L has started doing this hysterical squinty laugh. I chuckle every time. See for yourself.

Pardon S singing about being naked in the background. It was bath time! Silly kid(s)!!!!

Yes, it IS just like riding a bike

2011-03-16T08:50:00.000-04:00

S just got a hand me down bike from my cousin’s sons who outgrew their training wheeled wonder! This is what she looked like just moments after hopping on for the first time.

By The Numbers

2011-02-20T12:53:00.001-05:00

Me: How many Grandmas do you have?
S: Oma
Me: Who else?
S: Grandma
Me: Who else?
S: Nana
Me: How many is that?
S: Three!

Me: How many Grandpas do you have?
S: Grandpa
Me: Who else?
S: Grandpop
Me: Who else?
S: Opa
Me: How many is that?
S: Three!

Me: How many is that altogether?

S: (pondering for a minute) A FAMILY!!

I love, love love this beautiful girl!!

I Might Regret Encouraging This…

2011-01-25T12:15:00.001-05:00

But it was too cute not to share! :)

Big Boy

2010-11-25T01:42:00.001-05:00

He's getting bigger by the minute. Love his smile.

Reading at Just Shy of 3.5 – What?

2010-11-17T13:46:00.001-05:00

So, I’m a teacher…or I was one before I had kids. (Does that still count?)

I taught first grade. One of my main responsibilities was to teach kids to read. After years of worrying about her development and the effects of her gestational difficulties and prematurity, S has blown me away…

I’m in awe. Shocked. Stunned.

She’s a month away from being 3.5 years old and my kid is beginning to read!!

2 weeks ago it was 7 words (which they tested at her “HIGHLY academic” preschool).

Today she’s up to about 20. Including all of our names and her color words (except brown).

While this is cool and amazing, it has also sparked a “what the heck do I do with this?” panic in her former-teacher-turned-mother!

I KNOW how schools operate. I know that my “going to be reading chapter books by kindergarten” kid is going to be so so so bored in kindergarten. And while I struggled originally to ensure that she was placed in a school that would accommodate her quirkiness, now I need to find her a place where she will continued to grow and be challenged (so she doesn’t end up being an intelligent slacker- like me!)

I should probably also mention that outside of the flashcards I made/bought her…I am not supplementing at home at this point. She takes those cards everywhere and loves to show off her new skills. She is excited about learning. All of this is from her school. I don’t like the academic focus, but she continues to thrive socially and intellectually and is happy.

But how do I, or how can I possibly sustain this momentum when it starts so early?

I have some researching to do. And money to save for private school. Apparently.

Edited: Since I do sound a bit like a stage mom, let me tell you that she was watching a movie and had a fever during this filming and I was trying to keep her on task. Notice that she can read words upside down as well…crapity crap!! :)

My Girl

2010-11-15T00:29:00.002-05:00

She's always in motion.

Life’s A Beach!

2010-10-27T21:58:00.001-04:00

Let me preface this post for those of you who are living someplace cold right now with a big, huge “Sorry!” :)

We went to the beach today!! It’s the END OF OCTOBER!! It was 91 degrees today.

It was L’s first time at the beach and he loved it.

First he napped:

while my beautiful S played in the sand for a while.

We flew a Kite in a Bag. Its this frame-less kite that fits into a small 8 inch by 3 inch bag. Although she thought it was cool, S wasn’t happy that she couldn’t catch the tail or hold the line by herself. She was being very fussy and then I realized (duh!) she must be hungry…My mom packed sandwiches and I don’t know what it is about the beach, but food just tastes better!

We had lunch (no pictures, I was too busy eating!).

Then we took L down to the water. To say that he loved it would be an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, S loves the water, but there was a lot of screaming (and a SWAT team) at her first experience.
Attempting to eat the sand. I got there JUUUUUST in time!

He would have sat there and splashed all day if I had let him!

Neither kid really napped in the way home so both of them were in bed and out by 7:15. What a wonderful, perfect day!!

Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-22T13:11:00.001-04:00

We visited an amazing local pumpkin patch this morning with our friends.

I tried to get pictures of the two of them together. This was the best one:

My kids are apparently fascinated by straw (hay?). No amount of coaxing could get them to look up. I thought having S hold L would help. Ummm…see for yourself!

After we took a tour through the pumpkins (which S ignored) and then had song time (which S wanted nothing to do with and ran back to the pumpkins, S decided to try to be a weightlifter. She was rather unsuccessful! She tried hard though.

After the ~~ignored~~ story time, S and her friends got to play games. S has quite the arm and made it through the center hole 2/3 times and one of those was left handed. Yes, my friends, my kid is simply THAT cool!

After playing games, it was time for story time. Then S picked out 2 perfectly round pumpkins (she is my kid after all) and we went home. What a great morning!

He Sits!

2010-10-12T11:35:00.000-04:00

Sort of…just kidding! This is a rare fall. He can stay up for a long time (as in half hour long) without falling. No need for a Bobby pillow here – plus he thinks it’s hilarious when he falls! What a cool guy!

S-isms

2010-09-13T21:02:00.001-04:00

So S is a silly kid. Sometimes overly so (and usually after the hours it takes her to warm up to a room), but she has been saying some really funny things lately…

Such as:

“Mama. There’s alligators in there! (Pointing to a pond). He’s gonna bite my finger. Oh no! I’m going need see doctor. And a bandy (her word of bandaid).”

S: Mama, I want to be bigger like Mommy Papa. (She’s been saying this a lot lately and we didn’t know why.)
Me: Why to you want to be bigger?
S: Because I want put juice and milk in a cup like Mommy Papa. (Oh…)

“Mama, we no have any paper toilet!”

She has also started connecting her thoughts with “Because” even when un-necessary. Its so cute!

Everything lately also has an “ee” sound added to it. Milk-ee, Bath-ee, shirt-ee, etc. And she has invented words for people and sometimes will just shout a string of words and then giggle hysterically.

She calls money “meny” or “treasure”. She puts it in her piggy bank and then rattles off all of the things she’s going to buy (with her 4 bucks!).

She has finally figured out that when someone says, “How are you?” that you are supposed to respond. Her current answer is “good”.

If you do something she likes, she’ll say, “You’re my friend!” if not - she says, “You not my friend anymore!”

I totally adore this beautiful, talkative girl!

Late Night Exodus

2010-09-11T21:22:00.000-04:00

It was a swanky hotel. M had an event for work and had to spend the weekend in said “swanky” hotel.

The baby was a hit, as most of the attendees for this conference were older(ish) pastors and L was the only baby in sight.

S spent the afternoon with my mom (who lives about 10 minutes away) then I went to pick her up for dinner.

Dinner, was well…interesting. There were about 8 other kids there and they all ran out to play tag barefoot in the grass. S, bless her little heart, wanted to play soooooo bad. She had me walk her outside and she stood away from the other kids, watching and chewing on her fingers (her nervous indicator). She stayed out for a good 20 minutes just watching the kids play. The kids were very gracious and offered to include her often, to no avail. There was a small fountain and one of the older kids (about 8 years old) opened his wallet and gave S a penny to throw it in. Very, incredibly sweet!

Dinner was winding down and people were leaving the site we were at to head back for the night time meeting. As I gathered up my stuff, I looked up and didn’t see S. Panic ensued. I found her out where the kids were playing (who had all left) with her shoes off ready to “play”. My heart broke for my sweet, sweet girl. She takes so long to warm up and missed out…

After we returned, we went into the kid’s program. S took a long time and hugged her teddy bears so hard. This is a common sight. S near the kids, but not “with” the other kids. I love my sweet, pensive girl. She did eventually warm up and interact with the other kids.

After the kid’s program, we went back into the main hall where S attempted to help M work. Basically this means that she messed with his sound board, but it was adorable.

There was an ice cream social, which S had a few gummy bears and some fruit…and then we headed up to our room. Beautiful. Swanky. Hotel. Room. It was 9:30 already, so I quickly changed the kids into their jammies and tried to settle them down. While this was happening, S realized she could make L laugh, so I quickly grabbed my camera.

How I love these two!!

I did everything within my power to get S to settle down. But 9:30 turned into 11 and 11 turned into 12:30 and then a wide awake S asked to go home. We were exhausted by then, and M had to work at 7am…so we bundled up the kids and I left at 12:45. The hotel was about an hour away from our house, but it was late and I was tired. I stopped and got gas and snacks and drove home.

On the way, I spotted a drunk driver weaving and essentially driving in the center of both lanes of the Turnpike. so I spent most of the drive on the phone with 911 and Highway Patrol trying to identify the car and watch for crashes. It was scary, but I remained a safe distance behind him and was happy to make it home safely!

Oh, and btw…because we left early, I missed out on my FREE hour massage at the swanky hotel. Maybe next year!!

Feel That Breeze?

2010-09-09T23:10:00.001-04:00

Can you feel that breeze?

No, I’m not talking about fall…because the weather is so not cooling off here in Florida.

The breeze is from the winds of change.

Change is coming.

More soon.

Legally a Family

2010-09-03T12:15:00.001-04:00

We are legally a family! L’s adoption was finalized on Tuesday. We are so lucky and blessed beyond measure.

New Laundry Room

2010-08-28T21:53:00.000-04:00

So about five weeks ago, we purchased a gently used washer and dryer set. It took us five weeks to find the time to dismantle the old laundry room, paint, and reinstall the new appliances. It still isn’t done, but it is functional and I can’t begin to tell you how happy it makes me to finish an entire load of laundry (wash and dry) in about an hour. Before, with our old set, each load took 2+ hours…so exciting. (Sheesh, I’m old…getting excited about appliances! Oh well!)

S discovered a new game in the laundry room. I did four loads of laundry with her “help”. Enjoy!

Teething Already

2010-08-11T14:24:00.001-04:00

Hi, I’m L!

My teethies hurt. See?

This one riiiiight here…

This teether makes it better, but only a bit.

But my favorite teether is my thumb!

And yes, he is just 14 weeks. What a wild and different ride we’re on. Love it and love him!

This Explains So Much About Me

2010-08-06T14:33:00.001-04:00

So this article:

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/05/women-buy-sexier-clothes-when-most-fertile/?hpt=T2

Basically says that women purchase sexier clothes influenced by their hormones.

Sexier clothes when most fertile?

No wonder my wardrobe sucks!

Yet another side effect of infertility…great, just great! :)

Three Months Ago

2010-08-04T00:01:00.000-04:00

Three months ago this beautiful boy entered our lives.

Three months ago, we weren’t quite sure it he would be ours.
But we wished, we prayed, we wished and prayed some more…three months ago.

Two days and three months ago, papers were signed in the hopes of giving him more than they could provide: stability, a house, an education, piano lessons, a big sister…

But don’t think for a moment that they did not love him. They loved him deeply and will always love him.

Because two days and three months ago, we witnessed love beyond measure. Pure. True. Love.

And we are eternally grateful for a new life began for us all…three months ago.

Can Someone Inform My Son?

2010-08-03T22:18:00.000-04:00

So, L will be three months old tomorrow. Umm…so as he grows, I am even more convinced that he was at least SIX weeks overcooked. Can someone please inform him that he is only (almost) three months old?

Because at (almost) three months old he is:

Almost 16 pounds
Laughing
Sitting up with only a bit of support, can sit alone for about 5 seconds
Smiles all day
Wears nine month sized clothes
Is in size 3 diapers
Rarely fusses
Loves to snuggle
Sleeps 12 hours a night

He is such a wonderful baby and we are so lucky to have this huge, handsome guy in our lives!

Look Who Talks….And Talks…And Talks…

2010-07-29T21:14:00.000-04:00

Different

2010-07-23T13:54:00.001-04:00

My kids are different. (Well they are mine…which explains part of it) but they are different.

I don’t know how to articulate these complex feelings that I am feeling, but I didn’t know what I was missing until I had a second child.

All kids are different. I get that.

All kids develop different. I get that too.

But in the thick of things, with S – I knew she would develop differently given her prematurity and other assorted (though undiagnosed) issues.

But now with L, I see what might of been and I am aching and grieving for what we didn’t have with S. I’m not sure how to reconcile this.

But I just didn’t know...

Allow me to explain.

At 5 weeks, L began to smile and coo. He would respond to others smiling and smile back, squeal with delight and now “talks and coos” constantly.

S didn’t coo until she was eight months old. She rarely smiled. Rarely. In fact as an infant, she was such a serious child, she smiled just a handful of times.

While I marvel in the fact that she did smile and coo at all, and love her even more for her quirkiness, I do worry. I’m her mom. Its in my job description.

These worries go beyond just smiling.

And while I am giddy watching my son smile, it is tinged with this wave of sadness that we didn’t have this with S. I simply didn’t know how it was “supposed” to be and thankful that I didn’t so I could love and appreciate her for her.

But now – while joyful. I am sad too.

Family Portrait By S

2010-07-07T22:33:00.001-04:00

So S decided to draw us all on M’s new iPad. Here is our family:

From L to R: M, N, L, S

Cute, tech savvy, and artistic spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E! Love her!

L’s Birth Story

2010-07-06T12:08:00.000-04:00

5/4/10

It was an exhausting morning. M came to get me to ask me to get S up while he was in the shower. I nodded and then promptly went back to sleep.

M was, ahem, less than pleased.

We raced around getting S ready for school. M ended up leaving a full 45 minutes late.

I actually said the fateful words, “Today would be a really bad day for B to go into labor.”

M had an important meeting for work.
My mom (who was going to watch S) was hosting a party at her house that night.

M drove away and then my phone rang. It was B calling.

The conversation went something like this….

“Hi N? This is B. Um…we’re going to the hospital. I’m in labor. You better pack your sh*t and get here as soon as possible. Okay? Bye” There might have been more to this conversation, but this is the information I remembered.

I called M who hadn’t made it further than the local Starbucks. He turned right around.

Within the next 20 minutes, I called my mom, booked our flight, our hotel, and called the agency.

The next flight left in an hour but the airport is AT LEAST 40 minutes away. No way.

I managed to find a direct flight into Indianapolis on Southwest CHEAP. It didn’t leave until 2:20. We thought we had time. It was her first baby…and labor the first time takes a while, right?

At 1:30pm we heard that she was dilated to 5cm (contractions started at midnight) and that they were just about to break her water.

At 1:50pm B got her coveted epidural.

At 2:50pm B was dialated fully and they called in the delivery team.

At 3:07pm she began to push. A few pushes later…

At 3:23pm was born. He weighed 7 pounds 15 ounces and was 21.5 inches long.

We were in the plane somewhere over Alabama or Tennessee.

We landed at 5pm, found our wonderful contact at the agency (who had been watching our van) got in our car, and I got the following text message.

From B: Don’t worry if I don’t answer. Phone is dying. Everything went well. See you soon.

Um….what? Everything WENT well?

I responded with: Wait? He’s here? Details please!

They responded with: 7.15 21.5 inches long Beeeeaaaaautiful baby boy. That’s all you are going to get until you get here.

The hospital was almost 2 hours from the airport and we made it in record time. At 7pm, we were in the hospital parking lot when A called asking where we were.

We went straight to the room where she was supposed to be, only to find out that she had just been moved to the baby floor and out of Labor and Delivery.

We brought flowers. Turns out B has never received flowers before.

She looked pale but content. Both she and A’s faces lit up when they spoke of the baby and this would continue for the duration of our visit. We waited for a (slight inept) nurse to bring me a band that would allow me to have access to L in the nursery. After I got the band, we went down to the nursery.

I went in, M had to stay outside (you needed a band to get in). L had just finished being fed and the nurse handed him to me. He was so beautiful! I walked over to the window to let M see him when the nurse went to check with her supervisor to see if it would be okay for M to come in to the nursery to see him.

The nursing supervisor agreed and let M in! We went into a private corner and spend some time with our new son.

We took these pics with M’s iPhone.

It was definitely LOVE at first sight. We took him back to B’s room (although her adoption plan was clear that she didn’t want us all in the same room at the same time – she asked us to). We left little L in the room with B, stayed for a bit, but then said goodbye and left to grab some dinner and check into our hotel.

By now it was almost 10pm and we were STARVING!! We found a Taco ~~Hell~~ Bell and I wanted to drive through. There was a long line in the drive through, so M wanted to go it. BIG MISTAKE (and I ~~not so~~ secretly was right!). It was the slowest.fast.food.experience.ever! We waited a half an hour for them to make 2 tacos. NO JOKE! But since it was the only place open so late in nowhereville Indiana, we stayed. An b*tched about the wait. EVERY SECOND OF IT!! :)

Then we headed to our hotel and crashed hard. We planned on heading back at 10 the next morning.

A Poopy Father’s Day….Literally!

2010-06-20T12:45:00.001-04:00

First off - Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful husband. (And my Dad too).

Our morning started out hilariously.

I was feeding Buddy (little L’s new nickname) and I knew he was poopy. What I didn’t realize until I lifted him off my lap was that his diaper had leaked and I was COVERED with poop. M saw it and was about to say, “Oh Sh*t!” but quickly changed to “Oh Shoot!”. This was then echoed by Mouse (S’s nickname from birth that I am contemplating using as her blog nickname since this initial crap is driving me bonkers) as, “Oh Sh*it!”. I about died laughing since M was trying hard not to swear, but it was what Mouse heard anyway. (Side note: He said if she is going to say sh*t anyway, that he should just say it too – we will be discussing this later. Ahem…)

Laughing hysterically, I took Buddy to change him and I swear that he was laughing at me. Or he laughed for the first time, or something – but the timing was suspect. Either way, both of us were covered in poop laughing hysterically.

His smile made me forget that I was covered in excrement.
Only for a moment though.

After the changing of the clothes of all parties, Mouse went up to Buddy and pointer her finger at him. She said, “So sad Buddy! We no poo poo on Mommy!”

Love the fact that she is already admonishing her brother and he is only six weeks old.

So in honor of father’s day, we sat down for breakfast and that lasted a whopping 10 minutes before Mouse got naked and announce she had to poop.

So I took her to the potty to “try” (read: sit for a long time, bored out of my mind for NO RESULT) and poor M ate his Father’s day breakfast alone while Buddy slept and Mouse pottied. If that isn’t the epitome of fatherhood…(kinda sad though).

After breakfast, Mouse got her long awaited haircut. It is so hot here in Florida and so I hacked off (not really – more like trimmed) a few inches.

Before:After:
Then she got her nails painted. M wanted to know why she was getting pampered instead of him, but I offered to paint his nails this color:

And he declined. (Wonder why?).

His father’s day did improve a bit when I made him a father’s day cake..albeit out of PlayDough – but a cake nevertheless.

Here he is trying to look appreciative while holding Buddy.

Frankly, I think he looks more annoyed, but I give him kudos for trying!

Hope his Father’s Day gets better!

Update: Quesadillas and beer for lunch while watching World Cup! Life is better…

Happy Father’s Day honey! Despite the lack of pomp and circumstance, we love you more than we could ever express! - Love, Us

A hint of things to come....

2010-06-10T13:28:00.000-04:00

We are well, in love, and not sleeping...but blessed beyond measure.

While up at night with feeding L, I decided that our family has outgrown this blog.

So here is a hint of our big move coming as soon as I can finish the template....

New blog! When I started this blog it was to keep the family updated on S's health. It has grown into so much more than that and I wanted a new location that reflected that change.

So...coming soon...(as soon as I figure out how to manipulate code in wordpress...)

In other news:
This boy has started to smile and it lights up my world.

This girl has learned to swim (with floaties) and will be turning three on Saturday!

Sooooo happy. Sooooo tired. More soon!

In the Still of the Night

2010-05-24T23:48:00.000-04:00

Everyone in my house is sleeping right now. Everyone but me.

I am reveling in the stillness. In the chaos that has been our lives for the past weeks, it is nice just to have a little peace and quiet.

The kids are in their beds. Notice I said KIDS. It still amazes me that this little guy is ours. Isn't he perfect?

I have so much to share:

About how much this guy is loved by his parents. All of them.
About open adoption.
About how in some ways I feel like I adopted a newborn and two teenagers at the same time and I'm trying to reconcile that.
About life in a hotel with a newborn in rural Indiana.
About life with two kids and how I never feel like there is enough of me to go around.
About love.

This blog needs a revamp and a new name. Any suggestions?

I promise to return as soon as I can. My mother in law will be here in a few days so hopefully I will be able to tear myself away from L to post more about this crazy life I'm living.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

A Son

2010-05-06T22:29:00.000-04:00

She said : Thank you for giving him the life that I couldn’t.

I said: Thank YOU for giving him life that I couldn’t.

Tears were cried.

Papers were signed.

Hearts were both full and empty.

Aching and joyous.

We did not say good-bye to them, as our lives are now intertwined.

After all, we share a son.

And he is so loved.

True Beautiful Bittersweet Love

2010-05-05T09:25:00.001-04:00

He’s beautiful.

Papers aren’t signed yet.

I thought I knew what love looked like, but as I watch his birth mom gently stroke his hair and ear last night as she held him, I saw love.

True.

Beautiful.

Bittersweet.

Love.

The Journey from Here to There

2010-05-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

The fun thing about traveling, is that there are always unknowns.
Who knows if your luggage will make it to the same city that you are traveling to.
Who knows if you will make your connection.
Who knows if the hotel will lose your reservation…

Well on this trip, the unknown is different.
Who knows if we will arrive in time to see our son’s birth.

The call came in this morning about 9am.

I immediately put in place the well oiled plan that I had devised weeks ago.

I booked our flight (last minute on Southwest for 100 each – direct flight).

I called the preschool to let S know Grandma was going to pick her up today.

I called Grandma (my mom) to let her know that she needed to pick up S from school today.

The ironic thing is, M and I were taking this morning, mere moments from THE PHONE CALL, about how today would not be a good day for the baby to come. Apparently this baby already has a mind of his own.

My mom is having guests over for Bunco tonight. M had a few really large meetings today.

The house, inevitably, wasn’t clean (sorry Mom!)

The pest control guy came this morning. Note to self, if you sweep your floors prior to the pest control guy spraying for bugs, you may want to make sure you finish said sweeping prior to the application of bug spray or all of your sweepings may end up stuck to the floor. Oh well. Live and learn.

S put on two different sized socks. My shower would have been faster if I had used body wash to wash instead of conditioner. Oh well.

But we made it to the airport (due to last minute help from my brother – thanks D!) and even managed to grab a sandwich prior to boarding. We’re not sitting together, but I’m sitting next to a family with a 5 month old baby boy. He’s so tiny…and then I think to myself - “How could I have forgotten?” There was a time when I had every inch of S memorized. I could recite her stats, feeding schedule, etc. but now…I can’t remember any of it. Must.Be.Present.

We’re in for a wild ride. The baby isn’t here yet, as far as we know, but there is a great chance that we’ll miss the delivery. More soon.

UPDATED:

The baby arrived at 3:23 today while we were enroute. He’s beautiful. More soon.

Quick Update

2010-05-02T12:04:00.002-04:00

We heard from the agency tonight.

They did finally get in touch with our birthmom. She didn't call because nothing had changed and she had no updates for us or for the agency.

She said she would call us tomorrow (Sun.).

She has another doctor's appointment on Monday and just had one last Thursday which makes me think she's close....

More when I know more.

Thanks for all the happy thoughts and prayers. They seem to be working!

- Us

Incommunicado

2010-04-30T14:45:00.001-04:00

We returned from our visit to meet the birthparents on a Sunday.

Birthmom called us the next day to give us the update on her OBGYN appointment. Conversation went well.

She said she’d call us after her next appointment which was in 10 days.
She didn’t call.

This past Monday, she talked to the social worker. Said her next appointment was 4/29 (yesterday) and that she would call us on Tuesday (3 days ago).

She didn’t call.

Social worker called her twice yesterday after her appointment yesterday (she’s 39 weeks!) and left a message.

She didn’t call back.

This morning the agency called me and said, “We’re not worried – yet, but could you call her directly and see if she’ll call you back?” (The agency had said previously that it is common for birthmothers to pull back prior to the delivery to try to protect their hearts.)

I called. No answer. I left a message. She hasn’t called back, yet…

So what does this mean?

I have NO STINKING IDEA!!!!

It could mean nothing.
Or it could mean everything.
Or it could mean they have decided to parent this child.

I firmly subscribe to the theory that our child will find us. It happened with S, and also seems to have happened with L.

But if I truly believe this, and I mean TRULY, then I have to have faith that this situation will work out the way it is supposed to be.

And if it goes south, then he wasn’t supposed to be our “L”.
But this possibility just plain sucks.

More when we know more. Happy thoughts and prayers appreciated!

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Poop?

2010-04-22T21:26:00.001-04:00

I have a lot to write about. But I just can’t. Not yet.

Yes, the adoption is still on.
Yes, our incredible birthmom is 38 1/2 weeks along.
Yes, it could be any ~~day~~, ~~hour~~, minute now.

I haven’t written more because I don’t want to jinx it. And I’ve been incredibly honest on my blog and am a bit concerned that somehow they will find us on here and change their minds. Silly, really, but still a concern. So I promise that once the papers are signed, you will get the whole story – from the excruciating 20 hour drive, to the hospital tour, with all the others details of our visit north.

They love their son. They love us. We love them. We’ll love him. There is nothing but LOVE in this situation. Our path to our son has been paved with a million little blessings that I can’t wait to share.

When those papers are signed.

But as we’ve been trying to prepare S for L’s arrival…we’ve been talking to her about what life with a newborn will be like.

She knows he won’t be able to play for a while.
She knows he will eat, cry, and poop a lot. (With the third one getting a giggle from her every time). She has on separate occasions to me she wants to rub his back and give him a bottle. Too cute!

So tonight we talked about L’s upcoming arrival while she was lying down for bed.

She sang me to sleep (it used to be the other way around, but now she likes to sing her bedtime songs to me) and was entertaining me with Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. Her version went something like this:

Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Knees and toes.
Head, shoulders, knees and toes.
Eyes and ears and he’s going to go poo-poo. I’m going to help get his stinky poo-poo off,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Knees and toes.

The poo-poo part was spoken, lest you think my kid is THAT big of a genius. But funny how her brain was still processing her soon-to-be brother’s stinky poop although she was singing.

And today, at the grocery store, she announced loudly to anyone that would listen, “I’m gonna get a baby brudder” at which point they all stared at me – shocked that I would tell my two year old I was pregnant before I was even showing. (Or that is the theory I’m going with - in the hopes I don’t really look pregnant… :)) It did provide a nice icebreaker to discuss adoption in the ketchup aisle.

2010-04-08T13:47:00.000-04:00

I just realized that the last post was my 200th post! What a great one!

Sorry I haven't been writing. I have so much to say. I have some many thoughts and feelings regarding this adoption situation (which is still a go - don't worry), but I am pressed for time. As in have been up until 3am every night for the last 10 days - PRESSED! STRESSED! etc. etc. etc. :)

Why?

Due to logistical issues and $400 plane tickets to Indiana (EACH), we are driving to Indiana tomorrow morning.

Crazy huh?

Is the baby coming? Nope, not that we know of.

When we talked with our birth couple, they wanted us to come up and visit with them to get to know them better. (This is an entire post in itself).

Tomorrow we will be going up for the weekend and driving 14 hours!

Happy thoughts for safe travels and I hope to have time to write in the car while M drives.

But maybe I'll just nap.
Or both.

More soon!

They Chose Us!

2010-03-27T17:16:00.000-04:00

We're having a baby!!! We are matched with our fantastic birth couple and having a boy sometime in the next 5 weeks! So excited...

More details soon.

Wahooooooooo!

What We Know & Don’t Know

2010-03-20T12:23:00.001-04:00

This has been a rough week for our family. For a multitude of reasons but mostly work related. It is finals week and I just began another course so I’m juggling four online classes at once and not really doing well with any of them. Looking forward to next quarter with 2 easy classes. :) Hopefully!

What we know:

1. We adore our potential birth couple.
2. We saw pictures of them this week and found ourselves imagining what the baby would look like.
3. Potential Birth Mom (PBM) B is due on May 4th.
4. She told the director of the agency that she would make a decision on who to place the baby with in the next 2-5 weeks. Yes, you read that right….2-5 WEEKS…someone get me some anti-anxiety meds asap! :)
5. We are the only family they have interviewed and the only one they have requested to have contact with so far.
6. As of today they have not asked for an additional phone call.
7. We have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

What we DON’T know:

1. We don’t know when we will know if we are the “chosen” couple.
2. As with all situations, you cannot be sure that placement will happen, although in this case, they seem pretty sure.
3. As PBD did most of the talking, we want to know more about how PBM feels. She wrote the questions, but is shy by nature, and let PBD take over the conversation.
4. We don’t know why, if we are the only couple in the running, that they won’t make a decision for weeks. This is a bit scary as we ponder the reasons for the delay though the agency does not see any cause for concern at this time.
5. We also don’t know how many opportunities we might be missing out on while waiting for their decision. (I do believe that decision will come and that they will choose us, so this isn’t that big of a deal for me).

For the time being, we are A.M.U.P.O. (Almost Matched Until Proven Otherwise), and as the parent of one preemie – I’m going to get things ready now. Just in case. This little boy is already further along gestationally than S. PBM will be 34 weeks on Tuesday.

Pardon me while I nest… :)

More when we know more.

Blessings Abound

2010-03-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

So Thursday night late we received an email from an Agency we weren't working with.

We had contacted them months ago, but they were another one that required quite a bit of money upfront - so I told them that if our "low cost" options didn't pan out, then we would be calling them.

So when we received an email about a potential situation, we were more than surprised.

We were told that a birth couple had looked through all of the profiles at their agency and didn't feel like any of those families were a good fit, so they wanted more profiles to look at.

Enter our (cute) family. :)

I updated our profile a bit, but due to my trial of Adobe expiring, I could no longer print it as a pdf. The document was too large to email so I ended up working for HOURS on converting the files to a manageable size so that we could email the profile off for the birthmom to look at.

It took 5 hours and I was a nervous wreck while it was happening. I was SOOOOO convinced that she wasn't going to choose us because I couldn't get the freaking file small enough.

I finally emailed it off around 12:30. I heard it was going out to the birth family IMMEDIATELY, so I set about keeping my self busy so I didn't lose my effing mind.

I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear anything, but then...

At 3:30 pm EST I got an email from the agency with the Subject line: AGENCY AGREEMENT FOR B* SITUATION!

What???

Our contact called us a few minutes late and said that we were the first profile that this birth family liked so they (the agency) wanted to us to fill out paperwork. (This situation comes in under our budget too!!)

I, being the overzealous and prone to misinterpretation type, took this to mean that we were matched and having a baby the first week in May. A BOY!!!

We joyfully called the family and told them. So excited. Even went out with my mommy friends Friday night (to a FUN Irish Pub) and told them all about this baby.

But on Saturday, I reviewed the documents that the agency sent over, got them all squared away and faxed them over. It was through conversations with the director of the agency, that I realized that this WASN'T a done deal yet. (Not that it would really be a done deal until we are home with the baby, but you know what I mean).

Strangely I wasn't worried. See, we subscribe to the whole "our child will find us" which is what we firmly believe. IF things didn't work out (be assured I would cry for days) but it simply meant he wasn't supposed to be ours.

Oh, and did I mention that these potential parents were atheists? Ironic since God was/is CLEARLY a part of this. More on that later.

Sunday rolled around and my phone rang at 12:00. Turns out that B and A wanted to talk to us. IN A FEW HOURS!! Honestly, I was freaked out a bit. We met with S's birthmom a few times before she gave birth to S, but there were always one or two people from the agency with us. This was going to be a phone call. JUST US!!! Terrified doesn't even begin to explain how we both felt as I am sure they were just as nervous.

We shouldn't have been nervous. They were sweet, incredibly intelligent, funny and articulate people. They are young, 19 and 20, but M and I are so impressed with how thorough and thoughtful they are being about this process. We were supposed to talk for 30 minutes.

We talked for 1.5 hours.

Their hearts are in the right place. They want to do what's best for their son and they know that they cannot provide the opportunities for him (or for themselves) if they choose to keep him. As I mentioned before, it turns out that they are NOT atheists at all. They simply don't want religion shoved down their kid's throat. We are a household of faithful people, but we also believe that our children have the right to choose what they want to believe in.

Birthdad is very similar to M when he was 19. Into music, guitars, he and M discussed amps and some strange type of tuning that B and I had NO CLUE what they were talking about. I could see them becoming nerdy music guitar friends...

We discussed discipline, drinking, college funds, how physical fit we are (they wanted active, non overweight parents - thankful I've dropped a chunk of weight in the last year!!). Their questions were thoughtful and showed maturity FAR beyond their years.

When we hung up, I knew he was ours.

But he isn't. Not yet anyway...

They loved us. We loved them. Time will tell, but if you are of the praying, finger crossing, happy thoughts to the universe type, we'd sure appreciate whatever you can throw our way and toward the lives of this sweet young couple with a hard decision to make.

Their decision to place their child for adoption is not in question, they just want to make sure that their son is in the best hands.

I'm praying those hands are ours...

We have been around enough to know that things in this business can change at the drop of a hat. So we are cautiously optimistic, hopeful and excited, and hope to know more (and share it with you) soon.

Economical Adoption? Yeah Right!

2010-03-10T18:06:00.000-05:00

We (meaning my mom) paid quite a hefty chunk of change for S’s adoption. The total was somewhere right around $28,000 – exactly the same as the annual salary for my first teaching job.

As we are in a better place financially than 2 years ago (likely because of my mom’s generosity with S’s adoption) we were determined to pay for this adoption on our own.

I became OBSESSED with finding “cheaper” ways to adopt. Obsessed. (Different agencies are color coded to help you follow the story).

We looked at the same agency that brought S into our lives – but their fees had taken them up over 30K, and that was just too crazy expensive AND the wait was longer 1.5 years because we were gender specific.

So we found an agency in Jacksonville, FL. Their fees seemed reasonable, but if you have been reading the blog for a while, you will know this relationship soured back in October. Read this and this for more information. Side note: Up to this point I have not named this agency, but after FOUR requests for our $500 application fee to be returned and no response – I just sent them one final request AND THEY RESPONDED!! I’ll admit that I sent an ugly message followed by an apology message, but finally have it in writing that they will return our money! So excited!

So after that debacle, we decided to get our homestudy done by Angela Quick. She’s the social worker who conducted S’s homestudy and since S, has received her adoption agency license as well. We have LOVED working with Angela again. As a fledgling agency, it really has been great to assist them in sharing the ins and outs of the “economical adoption” search. Had we been able to locate and match with a birthmom through Angela, we would have. Their agency business plan does everything BUT birthmom recruiting, etc. so we were left to search some more.

Many agencies require a hefty amount of money paid up front, but I was on a quest to find an agency that had minimal upfront costs so that we could have quite a few “pans” in the fire. This is because we are gender and race specific, there are limited number of situations available. Signing with an agency with our specifications would mean that our profile would not be shown to a potential birthmother who didn’t know the gender of the child she was carrying. So the number of potential birthmothers looking at our profile was smaller which increases the wait time exponentially.

We came across a Christian agency in AL that we loved. I talked with them extensively in November, but until our homestudy was complete – we couldn’t move forward with them. I spent an enormous amount of time working on their application (which needed 10 Christian doctrine questions answered – AMEN for friends in the seminary!) but didn’t send it until we were offically homestudy ready. Not only did this agency have a lot of fantastic benefits to guard our hearts (such as you didn’t meet your child until they were “free and clear” to be taken home), but their total adoption costs were around 20K, which seemed more reasonable and doable in our financial situation.

Then the call came. Apparently they had suspended their Caucasian infant program for out of state famiies. No one told us and this information was nowhere to be found on their website.

Honestly, I was beyond disappointed.
So I emailed the director and what transpired next was miraculous.

We spoke for 45 minutes on the phone and he explained the reasons for the suspension of the program. Essentially, they had so many families in the mix, that the newer families were often chosen first (even though the birthmothers pick) so some families had been waiting a long time (2+ years). Instead of adding additional families, they suspended the program in hopes of reducing the number of families waiting an extended period of time. He owned their mistake and decided that he would make an exception for our family and invited us to join their program. However, they were now quoting a 2-5 year wait!!

We received an email from our social worker at the agency letting us know that there was a mandatory training in AL in May and that they wouldn’t be able to show our profile until we attended. (This info is NOWHERE in the literature either. We assumed that we were good to go after the conversation with the director).

Immediately following, we received a message that stated, “Ignore my previous message about the training and please don’t make any travel plans yet. You haven’t been officially accepted as one of our families yet. I still need to conduct a 2 HOUR phone interview with you prior to being accepted.” This info was also NOWHERE in the literature.

What we think happened was that the director agreed to make an exception, but the social worker isn’t necessarily happy about the extra work taking us on as a family. Not exactly sure where we stand at this point, but have our phone interview scheduled for the end of March.

We were very excited to hear about a local maternity home that also had an adoption component. We went up to visit them and receive our training to be listed as one of their families, but due to some questionable (possibly legal…not sure) tactics, we decided to not pursue this option. The red flags: 1. They only use one lawyer and you can not use outside counsel. 2. The birthmother expenses are a standard fee regardless of the situation. (There is a cap of birthmother expenses here in FL that is 5K. Anything higher, I believe, needs court approval). At this place there was a 10K birthmother fee (which may or may not be in the form of a “donation” to their non-profit). But in one instance, we were told that they used these donated funds to purchase a car for birthmother after she placed her child. While this may be legal, we didn’t feel it was ethical and would hate to have our adoption overturned or jeopardized because of this practice. 3. We didn’t feel that their birthmoms were adequately screened resulting in several failed placements.

I contacted a referral service, who offered us a 47K situation and told me that we couldn’t get a healthy Caucasian child for the 20K that we planned. In fact, she said “I can get you a drug exposed baby for 23K, but if you want a healthy one – it will be a minimum of 30K.” I think because we didn’t have enough money, she didn’t want to work with us, and I never heard from her again.

After hearing about the previous interaction of the referral service, a family friend referred us to a local adoption attorney who was outraged at the comments made by the referral service. She and I talked extensively, and we decided to have her show our profile for a minamal fee ($200) should any situatiosn come across her desk. This money would be rolled over into our finalization costs should we use her to finalize. She sounds fantastic, although I still haven’t received our contract that was supposed to be mailed a few weeks ago. Makes me a little concerned for her attention to detail, but maybe that contract isn’t really a big deal so there is no rush. She’s still showing our profile in the meantime.

From our new new lawyer friend, we were referred to a consultant in CO. She charges 2,500 up front, but seemed to have a good reputation. I told her our budget (around 20-25K at this point) and she said that we were better off working with someone else because she didn’t have access to situations that inexpensive. I HATE that this is about MONEY!!

Through various websites and forums I heard about this guy, Dave, who was doing adoption outreach for an agency in UT. It sounded great. I sent off all of our info, arranged to have profile books mailed, and waited for additional info. Since he said that fees ranged from 22-35K, I figured we would hope for a situation on the low end. What I didn’t ask to see were the specific financials. (ALWAYS ASK). Even if we could have located a birthmother through Dave, which was probably likely) the fees for their program (FEES ONLY) were 38K. I sent him a message apologizing because it really was my bad for not asking specifically, and he is holding our profile books in UT until we decide where to send them. No sense in having them mail them all the way back here to send them someplace else. Which leads me to the next agency…

We found another agency in UT that had a situation with a baby boy due Apr. 2nd. (I know soon, eh?) So I contacted them and turns out that they lost contact with that b-mom. But there is a great lead on a b-mom due May 24th. This agency seems to have access to a higher percentage of Caucasian kids (probably because they are in UTAH!). Their fees are reasonable (agency fees are around 18K) but they want 8K up front. OUCH! So we may use them, but still deciding on if we want to put that much money down and be stuck with them.

So currently, we are working with a consultant in Michigan who costs 100 to begin and if you get a match through her, you only pay 1000. This is VERY reasonable in this crazy world. We’ll see if anything comes of it. More soon. We had a couple leads on a few babies already and have only been active for 3 days.

So I can’t believe you’ve read all of this! Sorry for the novel, but this update has been coming for a long time. I’m hoping and praying that our son finds us and that we are patient enough to wait for him. More soon.

The Fabric of Our Lives

2010-03-04T09:23:00.001-05:00

So I’ve been sewing. Yes, you read that right. Sewing. Like with a machine and all.

Didn’t know I could sew? Well, due to the love and patience of my grandmothers and mother, I can. I learned fairly young and I H.A.T.E.D. it. In fact, at 15, my grandma and I set about to make a stuffed animal cat while I was in Oregon visiting. It was a short visit, and a complicated project and honestly, it took almost 20 years to start sewing again. I hated that stupid cat! (I still have it somewhere I think!)

But as we wait for the next member of our family, I felt the need to make something.
To construct something.
To cultivate something.

(For S’s wait, it was butterflies – the living kind, but that is a story all of its own…)

So enter in my a cheapo Walfart sewing machine and I began making baby items for our son.

My intent was to save money. Why pay for silly burp cloths when the fabric and some of my time is cheaper? (Between all the start up supplies and my sewing machine, I’m pretty sure these are the world’s most expensive burp cloths!)

I wanted to make a pouch baby sling but I didn’t want to pay for one. I didn’t use one with S, but now with a newborn and a toddler, I need one so I can have my hands for S. I found a pattern online. Even though I read the directions a million times, I still cut my material wrong and had 4 one yard pieces instead of 2 two yard pieces. Math (and apparently reading comprehension) are still not my strong suit.

But the sling is awesome. The catch? Apparently I measured my body wrong and the sling is a few inches too short. So if anyone is interested in a sling for a smaller figured, shorter mom…I’m selling it for the cost of the material. ($10).

You see, I am a “path of least resistance” kind of girl. I don’t like hard work and will strive to find the most efficient and least effort required to complete a task. This, coupled with my neurotic need for straight lines, is not really good for sewing. So I have learned.

My first bib. Complete disaster. (I can’t believe I am posting this! Embarrassing!)

New bib on the new fantastic-computerized-got-a-great-deal-on-amazon sewing machine (that even embroiders!) much better.

More pictures to come. Next up, another attempt at baby shoes and a dress for S.

Park

2010-02-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

I usually don’t take S to the park. That’s M’s thing. Plus, I usually need to work on the weekends a bit, so they head out to the park to have some father/daughter time.

This weekend was different for a few reasons. First, with M’s back hurting from the accident – he couldn’t really pick her up the way he wanted to. So I went too.

I’m ashamed to admit that it’s been MONTHS since I’ve been to the park with S. M has been telling me that she can climb and explore just about everything now, but seeing it was incredible. That kid has NO fear and is able to do so much more independently.

We played for a while. I took a bazillion pictures of her on the swing. I liked the light and she was so cute in her little hat.

We played for a while, but as she was sans nap, she got a little cranky toward the end. She threw a fit because there was some kid swinging on the swing she wanted. We went and had ice cream after and that ended poorly as well. This is why our kid MUST nap!

Apparently S and M have a little routine that they do at the end of a trip to the park. They run down the hill together and if S falls, she rolls the rest of the way down. She loved it so much that she ran down the hill a few more times. Oh to know joy like this…

Crash Into Me – Part 2

2010-02-12T23:10:00.000-05:00

S’s version:

Somebody hit Papa’s car. Papa lay down. Papa go to hospitable. Papa has owie on neck.

N’s version:

I was expecting M home at any minute when the phone rang. He said, “I just got rear-ended” in a tone of voice I had never heard him use. Stunned. (Silly guy called me before 911). I told him I was on my way and told him to call 911.

I threw S in the car (not literally- but close) and raced to the accident scene. My heart was racing. I didn’t know what I would find.

It was dark and started raining. I had S in my arms as we walked over to the scene. The ambulance and fire truck were just arriving and there was a cop there too.

When we got to the car M couldn’t turn his head to look at me and he was shaking. They stabilized his neck, took him out of the car and loaded him in the ambulance. I was so focused on S and reassuring her that Papa was okay, that I didn’t really even get to talk to M before they took him away. It took FOREVER to get the police report and then I raced down to the hospital.

The girl who hit him was just 16…and she was just fine.

Luckily, my brother and sis-in-law were in the neighborhood and came and picked up S and took her to their house so I wouldn’t have to take my recovering-from-bronchitis kiddo back into the germ infested ER.

M HATED being strapped to the backboard. I mentioned that I once spent 8 hours strapped to one after my car accident (when I was 18) so I knew it sucked but he seriously needed to quit bitching. :) I was remarkably sassy that night, especially considering the circumstances. Sorry honey! We managed to have a few laughs and were so grateful that he wasn’t seriously injured.

Here are two pics from the ER.

He came home a few hours later with some serious drugs, but was just fine. We went home and counted our blessings because it could have been SOOOO much worse.

The bummer of the deal is that there really wasn’t any damage to the car. There was paint transfer (in the outline of a bumper) and the trunk lid sticks out a bit now, but I tell you, our 1999 Civic is incredible and virtually indestructible. I think M was upset that there wasn’t more damage as he’s been itching for a new car for a while now. Since the Civic is apparently uber safe and paid off, it looks like he will not be getting his new car out of this. But, we were meaning to paint it anyway so it doesn’t look so crappy, so I think that might happen sooner than later now.

Once again, grateful that he was okay….

I know this feeling – and it scares me…

2010-02-08T11:37:00.000-05:00

Today has been one of THOSE days. You know, the day that you SWEAR you’ve lived before.

It started last week. The cough we hoped would go away.

An ear tube that they put in last March fell out about 10 days ago and (shockingly) led to an ear infection.

Large doses of strong antibiotics were prescribed. We thought she was on the mend.

“Thought” being the operative word!

M and I went away for the weekend. Couples massages, uninterrupted dinner in a restaurant , a fancy, schmancy hotel, topped off with some fun shopping and walking around quaint old town St. Augustine late at night. So fun. Soooooo fun! We also attended an Adoption Seminar, but that should probably be a post on its own.

S went to my mom’s house for the weekend. Where she subsequently forgot she was potty trained AND her cough was increasingly worse. My poor Mom!! I owe her dinner or a vacation, or at least should pay to clean her carpets. S coughed a little Friday night. A lot on Saturday and last night, well – lets just say I’m running on fumes. No sleep was had by all. (Well M slept, but S and I didn’t.)

She had a coughing fit so bad that I thought I was going to have to call 911. Not kidding. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night. But strangely I’ve been here before. S has been here before too. And it just plain sucks.

We had an early appointment with her pediatrician and after testing her for the flu and RSV and giving her a nebulizer treatment, her oxygen sats were still at 93 and little air was moving on her right side. So to the ER we went.

As you can see, this is the face of a kid who feels awful! My poor sweet girl!

Her oxygen sats were better by the time we reached the ER (95). We went for for a chest x-ray and had another stronger breathing treatment.

Doctor said no pneumonia which was great news! Called it bronchitis with some viral component because the antibiotics weren’t working at all. Her ears were better, but since S is allergic to an entire class of antibiotics, the usual ones that would work, were not an option.

So $175 later (up from 125 last year), we were sent home with the exact same treatment plan that we left with.

And S still sounds awful.

As annoyed as I was about paying the 175 dollars, I’m glad she doesn’t have pneumonia. However, M took a positive spin on it saying that with the higher ER fees, at least we will reach our out of pocket maximum sooner this year….always the optimist – that man of mine….

Tutus….Don’t Leave Home Without One!

2010-02-04T13:47:00.001-05:00

Thanks to dear sweet Aunt Tiffany (N’s cousin’s wife….) S now has her very own tutu. Which she refuses to leave at home. And wears all the time. Even on the potty – I know…gross…

But OH. SO. CUTE.

SWAMPED!!

2010-01-27T18:06:00.001-05:00

I’m swamped. Like seriously, utterly, totally, insanely, swamped.

I’m teaching three classes. 61 papers to grade a week plus read 122 discussion posts every week.

My course that I am writing is due on Sunday. It has 11 modules. 6.5 are done and I have been doing nothing but.

Our home study is done and we will be receiving copies in a few days. I have a lot to share about who is working for us on our journey to welcome our son home.

S is potty trained – well except for poop, naps and overnights. I’m patient though – after all Rome wasn’t created in a day!

Our adoption profile book is almost complete. Good thing too, because we need it in 10 days to attend an adoption workshop.

Have I mentioned that I have essentially been working from about 8 am until 1 am for the last week? I’m so tired!! Can’t wait until I submit my course.

More soon. Promise. Just as soon as I get out of this swamp!

Preparing Her for Him

2010-01-21T13:25:00.001-05:00

If you think the adoption wait is hard on us, imagine being two and being told that you are getting a baby brother someday - but no one knows when.

Anytime I hold a baby, S looks at me quizzically and says, “Baby Brudder?”

We have prepared her the best that we can. When she moved into her toddler room, we told her she was making space for her brother. She knows that some toys she can’t play with yet, because they are still wrapped for him. She has a baby doll that has the same name as her future brother and although she likes to throw him across the room, she knows his name and that he is a baby. (And we hope the eye poking, throwing thing will settle down before he really arrives).

She got this new cat puzzle for Christmas. There are four cats on the front. Two adults, two kids. She put the puzzle together and started naming people.

Watch Out in 13.5 Years!

2010-01-18T21:33:00.017-05:00

We took S to the Magic Kingdom today for the first time. I’m so glad we waited until she was old enough to appreciate it. And appreciate it she did!

Even watching this video made me crack up again. What a precious time this was and I’m so glad I caught it on film. PRICELESS!

Here's hoping that in 13.5 years when she really does drive, that she learns to watch the road instead of Mommy. But oh, how I love to hear her laugh....

Day 2 of Potty Training

2010-01-17T19:55:00.001-05:00

So I try not to give my kid sugar. I really try. I do well most of the time. But then today, it occurred to me that what we tried potty training yesterday simply wasn’t cutting it. She wet through every pair of underwear she wore yesterday. UGH!

So, determined to be successful today, I offered her a piece of candy (a mini gummy bear) and a sticker if she peed in the potty.

Well wouldn’t you know, she did just that? And was so proud of herself.

Pee. Sticker. Candy.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

So, we ended up having a great day. My mom came over and played with S for a while. S managed to not go in her underwear for almost 5 whole hours!! Amazing.

Tonight though, we had a bit of a disagreement. You see, S wanted to keep pottying and not go to sleep and M and I wanted (needed) her to go to bed. A battle ensued that was resolved relatively quickly. The reason we needed her to go to bed early is because she’s getting up early tomorrow, for an early nap, and then her first trip to DISNEY WORLD!!!

Can’t wait for tomorrow. Glad today is almost over, but happy with the successes.

Where Does Pee Pee Go?

2010-01-16T16:25:00.000-05:00

When asked this question, S will respond, “Pee pee goes in the potty” and then proceed to pee in her underwear yet again. I’ve had to resort to Tylenol (for me) and M wanted a beer with lunch.

Yes, it’s been THAT kind of day.

On the up side, S has fun when she sits on the potty. Now if she would only use it…

Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Adopting

2010-01-14T09:07:00.003-05:00

I reposted this (with permission) from a fellow blogger. Check out her blog http://unexpectedlifeevents.blogspot.com Funny, witty and going through the adoption process too!

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS ADOPTING - OR ASK THEM:

1. How much is going to cost? If I want you to know how much money it is going to cost then I'll tell you. If I don't, don't ask. I don't ask how much your medical bills were for giving birth to your children, do I?

2. If I tell you how much it is going to cost, please don't respond by telling me how ridiculous the cost is. Yes, I am aware that private, domestic adoption is expensive. I am aware that I could easily be spending that money elsewhere. I am aware of programs that are cheaper. I have done my research. I have done a lot of research. We picked this agency for our personal reasons and we plunged in knowing full well what the costs were going to be. I do agree that the costs are outrageous in some cases. I fully support a cap on the costs of private adoptions, or giving money back to people who are adopting children, who otherwise would not have a home. It is still none of your business to tell me how to spend my money (or in our case) my parent's money.

3. Don't tell me how you could never give your child up for adoption and how you don't believe that people can actually do that. Here's a shocker - some people actually realize they can't provide the kind of life they would like for their child. They do the most selfless, amazing, loving thing in the world and give that child up to a family that can. That is the definition of loving parent right there.

4. Don't ask me if I can give the baby back if there is something wrong with it. Do I ask you if you wanted to give your children back after they were born? Even if they were born perfect and later in life developed a disease or disability, I would never ask you if you wanted to give them back.

5. Don't tell me about all the movies you have seen on Lifetime and such, about how the birth parents suddenly show up when the child is 10 and take them away from the adoptive parents. It does not happen in real life. Once the relinquishment rights are signed, that is it. There is no going back for the birth parents. The cases that movies are made out of, or that go to court usually have some kind of back story to them that has lead them to court. However, they usually forget to show you that on TV, because then it would not make for a good movie.

6. Don't ask me about what I'm going to tell the child about adoption, their birth parents, etc. Don't give me your opinions on open adoptions - how horrible they are, what would your child call you, you'll never really be the child's parent, and on and on. This is not the 1950's people. Anyone with half a brain who does research on open adoptions would immediately see the benefits to them versus a closed adoption. I don't even know if ours will be open. Would we consider it? Yes, depending upon the circumstances. The majority of the adoptions these days are semi-open (fully closed ones are rare anymore) where the birth parents get pictures/letters through the agency.

7. Don't ask me what I am going to do if I get a baby of different racial makeup than my husband and I. That is our choice and our business. If you don't support it then don't ask me questions. Simple as that.

8. Don't ask what I am going to do if the birth mother would change her mind. It does happen, but we are not even matched yet, so I'm not worrying about it. If it happens, it happens. Until then I'm not thinking about it.

9. Don't tell me stories about how people got pregnant after they adopted. I can't get pregnant without medical intervention, so I am not magically going to pop up pregnant after we adopt. It's not happening folks. I will never be pregnant unless by an act of God and last time I checked God was not in the business of creating new fallopian tubes.

10. Don't ask me why we did not try surrogacy, egg donors, or other things so I could be pregnant. Once again none of your business. I went through two traumatic IVF's and that was enough. I am done with that stuff. I admire those people who try everything they can to have a baby, but each couple is different. My body has been through hell and so has our relationship, so we are done with that route.

I'm sure I have at least ten more things I have heard about adoption lately that has pissed me off, but I'll save them for another post!

The Night S Disappeared

2010-01-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

About 5am this morning, M got up.
Checked the baby monitor.
Bed looked empty, but he thought maybe S was under all of the blankets (which is common).
So he went into her room.
Bed was empty.

Commence freakout!

Did I mention that recently S has become tall enough to unlock the deadbolt on the front door?
And it was 23 degrees out?

He came out into the livingroom to find S, curled up on the couch.
She was holding her wooden mouse.
She woke up when she heard M racing around.
He put her back in bed.
She stayed there until 9 this morning.

Baby gate anyone?

Adoption Update

2010-01-07T03:58:00.000-05:00

“You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way!” – Counting Crows

It is very late (3am) and I can’t sleep. Partially from this pinched nerve in my neck that won’t allow me to be comfortable and partially from something that is deeply troubling me.

Due to the fact that we have specific gender/health requirements for our second adoption, we decided to hire a special adoption consultant to hopefully help us locate an agency, who is working with a birthmom, who is carrying our son.

While inquiring about her services, she sent me the “only” full Caucasian boy she had on her list. He’s 6 months old. Healthy as can be. The catch?

The fees for this adoption would be $47,600.

We obviously had to pass, because if we had an extra 50K laying around, M wouldn’t have to drive my old car from college among other things.

But why? How can those fees be that high? How can that be ethical?

It broke my heart to know that this baby is waiting for a family, and no one can afford him. I can see some desperate family who so want to be parents mortgaging their house to adopt this child.

Why are the fees so high? I simply don’t understand.

Cost shouldn’t be a factor. The needs of the child should be the focus.

THIS SHOULDN’T BE A BUSINESS!!

But this brings me to the conversation I had with the consultant.

A little background: S’s adoption cost 28K. We decided not to use the same agency because the fees were increased to more than 32K. With all of the money we have spent on S’s hospital bills and health needs, that is simply too much. Way too much!

So I set about trying to find ways to make this adoption economical. I looked into grants, various loan programs and for agencies that didn’t charge large upfront fees to search for a child.

Don’t get me wrong, we are not destitute. We don’t want for much (well M really wants a Mercedes…but…). We own our home. We have one brand new car (and one old one – thus the desire for the Mercedes). We have been lucky to have not been affected much* by the economic downturn.

*except our plummeting house value which has made us continue to suffer the FL summers…but I digress…

I had given her a budget of 22K. (They don’t work with people who have budgets smaller than 20K) so I decided 22K would be the top end of what we could afford. Because you get back 12K from taxes for adoption, the total cost would be about 10K. I can live with 10K. I DON’T like it, but I can live with it.

But what the consultant said stopped me in my tracks.

She said, “I could probably find you a drug exposed baby for 22K, but if you want a healthy child with no drug/alcohol exposure – you’re looking at 30K minimum.”

Yes, you read that right. She really did say, “I could probably find you a drug exposed baby for 22K…” Seriously?

I politely explained that we were not interested in a child that has been drug exposed. ‘Not interested’ aren’t the right words…We’re not equipped at this time to handle another child with special needs.

If you can choose, why not choose the best start for the child that will be entering your family?

If I was able to create this little life and carry him myself, you can be certain that I’d do everything in my power to give him the best start. I would eat my vegetables, exercise and not even a Tylenol would touch my lips.

Just because we can’t create him, doesn’t mean that we don’t have the right to make some choices. And we are choosing the best possible start.

And don’t think I have forgotten that our ‘healthy’ child has racked up probably 250K in medical expenses over her 2.5 years, so anything can happen. We KNOW that. Trust me.

Given a choice, we are choosing the best possible start. End of discussion.

Now how do we pay for that?

Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz?

2009-12-21T14:55:00.000-05:00

Today M got up at 3:30am (I was still awake writing curriculum) and went with his Dad by train to the Mercedes factory to pick up his Dad’s new car.

Boys and their toys, but honestly, I wouldn’t have minded a factory tour either! :)

The drive home took them 6 hours, but was amazingly enjoyable according to M.

When they arrived home, Dad gave me a brief tour of the new car.

To say that the car wasn’t just amazing would be a lie…a BIG one!

It is fantastic! Every bell and whistle imaginable.

It has a massage feature in both seats.

It can turn your brights on automatically.

The headlights automatically adjust their height depending on your speed.

The car actually recognizes when there is another vehicle in your blind spot and will beep at you when you try to move into it’s path.

It also has adaptive cruise control and you can preset a distance between you and the car in front and the car will accelerate or decelerate depending on the speed of the car in front of you. And yes, because I asked, if the car in front of you stops, you stop too.

It can read the speed limit signs and displays it inside the car.

On top of all the standard Mercedes features, the car actually reminds you to take a break from long stretches of driving by illuminating a coffee cup icon on the dash.

I haven’t been out for drive in it yet but am hoping to do so before we leave. Very cool. Did I mention it has a built in massager? Ahh….

Cooking Cookies Can Cause Chaos

2009-12-15T15:33:00.000-05:00

Well, not really, but it certainly made for a good title. This is S’s first Christmas present in Germany: A new apron, which was promptly used!

Tante Christiane and S made cookies today. Chris made the dough in the morning and they cut them out together.

Sooooo stinking cute.

S was so patient too. Cookies were baked and decorated in the afternoon with more sprinkles and icing than I can to think about (which I do every day at tea….but more on that later!)

Every day at tea when S eats a cookie, she says, “Tante Uh (her nickname for Christiane – pronouced ew with a rounded o) and S made cookies!” So cute!

S loves her Tante Uh. I was a bit worried about how they would interact since they hadn’t seen each other in a year, but no need to worry. S took right to her.

The finished product. They are so yummy!!

Crash in To Me

2009-12-14T17:37:00.001-05:00

I was going to write a pretty mundane post about Germany today. But apparently life had a different idea.

The day started off normal. We slept in. As in, 11am slept in. All 3 of us. Apparently we were tired. Jetlag and all.

We ran some errands. Went to the drug store to pick up cough drops since M has a sore throat and I needed baby wipes for S. (What kind of Mom leaves for 3 weeks and doesn’t pack wipes?…Sheesh!)

Anyway, had a relatively uneventful day.

Went to try to take pics of S riding the train and the carousel at the Christmas Market. Traffic was bad, so we didn’t get a chance to go.

Thankfully and blissfully, S forgot.

We met M’s mom at a TV store to help her pick out a new TV. She was going to get a smaller TV, but we convinced her it needed to be bigger. Her argument to my father in-law? She told him her eyesight will get worse as they age, so having a bigger TV will help! :) LOVE IT!

So she headed home in our car, and M, S and I headed home in our rental van. We were almost there when it happened.

Picture a quaint European street with traditional German houses on either side. On the right side of the street there are cars parked almost the entire length of the street. We were headed down the street and saw a large truck coming at us. Due to the parked cars on the right hand side, there was nowhere to pull over. M moved over as far as he could, and it was just far enough to not get plowed by the truck, but too far to spare the very last parked car on the right. (Meaning, we almost made it).

Oh, and the truck was honking at us as if it was our fault. And he didn’t stop. M pulled over and made sure we were all okay. We were.

I am fine physically, but still hours later – I’m a mess.

M got out and luckily located the owner of the vehicle with the first knock. He was polite and a bit upset, but handled it well. I turned on the light in the van so he could see that M had a wife and child in the car. Just in case.

The car we hit lost is mirror and had damage to the front bumper. Our van, as far as we could tell in the dark, really has no damage at all.

It could have been much worse.
Had we caught the front bumper of the truck, we’d be gone.
It happened so fast and honestly, if a few grand worth of damages is all it is…we’ll take it.

We hugged each other a little tighter tonight, and will do the same from now on. Because you just never know.

Bobby Cars and German Adventures

2009-12-13T14:10:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of 2/3rds of our jetlagged family. S is modeling her new gloves we bought at the Christmas Market. S got to ride a carousel for the first time and rode a little train twice with the biggest grin. We forgot our camera though, but I probably would have dropped it after the gluvine I drank! :)

What a beauty! So sweet in the new clothes that Oma bought for her!

We awoke to a light dusting of snow this morning. We went to lunch at this great little restaurant that was a few villages over.

S loved the soup. She managed to eat almost an entire bowl herself.

S ate all my dessert (as usual), but I wanted to share a picture of my new glasses. S bent my old pair beyond repair, so I was lucky enough to fork out a few hundred bucks for that “accident.” M informed me that the cost of new glasses would pale in comparison to the first time she crashes the car at 16. Sheesh, honey…can’t wait for that….

My two loves….bundled up against the cold.

These I will be framing when we get home. Love her!!

A nearby village, taken by M on a walk with his sister.

As an early Christmas present, S got a Bobby Car today. (This is a typical first birthday gift in Germany). She loved it. She even discovered that she could honk the horn with her elbow!

Doesn’t she look so old all of the sudden? We are all doing well. Jetlag is a bit of a problem, but should be better in a few days. More soon.

Germany

2009-12-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

ANNOUCEMENT: Thanks for all of your support. We won the Family Category as Best Rockin' Blog in Orlando! Thanks for all of you who voted, and to new visitors - welcome....

Now to update a bit....

So I am coming to you live from the back of the van as we drive up from Frankfurt to M’s hometown. S is finally asleep (more on this later) and we are about an hour away. It has been a very, excruciatingly long day.

The day started out well due to my poor math skills. I thought our suitcases were overweight, but turns out I calculated kgs incorrectly and all of our suitcases were fine. Great news. Stupid metric system! J

We dined at Macaroni Grill in the airport and then headed out to our gate.

S was so fascinated by all of the planes and by the train that we had to take to get out the terminal. She was in a great mood and I remember thinking how fortunate it was that this was the case. She was tired and so I hoped it would be a brief awake period and then a nice airplane snooze. Boy was I wrong!!

As we were waiting to preboard, I smelled it. Yep, mine was the kiddo that stunk up the plane before takeoff. Awesome.

We did bring a car seat for her, which turned out to be a great idea because there is no way she’d be comfortable (or safe) in an adult seat. Lufthansa just installed these touch video monitors and to my surprise and delight, there was a Disney video montage.

All started off well. The lights were dimmed. S was snuggling in her car seat watching Mickey and was started to snooze when the lights were turned on for beverage service. Ping. S was wide awake! It was already 10 pm Florida time and I expected to be happily dreaming after my choice beverage. (A Bloody Mary if you want to know. Made with too much vodka, and I had to listen to my 2 year old say Bloody Mary for the next hour!)

So as for the sleeping, no such luck.

We turned the onboard TV on. And off. We tried in the car seat. And in my lap. We tried singing and rocking in the back of the plane. Nothing worked.

Somewhere in this part of the story her diaper leaked and she was soaking wet, so she got a full outfit change.

Also in here somewhere was when I didn’t see a full glass of water in this snazzy cupholder they have near the top of the chair and poured ice water all over me. I didn’t have a full outfit change (or any extra clothes) so I was shivering for the next few hours.

And her behavior went south. Like far south. Like South Pole south. Exactly what you want to have happen when you are stuck 35,000 feet over the Atlantic.

She started kicking the seatback in front of her. I had to physically hold her feet for more than an hour. When I took her out of the seat because she wouldn’t stop, she pinched and hit me. I even put her in timeout in the back of the plane.

And then she did it. She stuck her finger in her mouth, covered it in spit, and then wiped it on my face.

I was shocked, stunned, and could totally understand why people drink. I thought she was playing the first time, but when she went in for a second smear, I was done. Just done!

Immediately she went back in her car seat. Screaming ensued. She cried. I was so tired and cried too. By now it was past midnight FL time.

After some pondering (not much) I turned Mickey back on and ignored her for the most part. I still had to hold her feet, but after about half an hour, she was out.

Until she work up an hour or so later screaming because she didn’t know where she was.

I gathered her into my arms and we went back to the back of the plane so she wouldn’t wake up the other sleeping passengers.

The cycle continued. She misbehaved, got put back in her car seat and then in desperation, I asked her if she would snuggle one last time. She promptly fell asleep on my shoulder and slept another hour or so. By now it was almost 4 in the morning Orlando time. She woke up screaming again just minutes before the breakfast lights came on.

And she was in a good mood. (I was not.)

Funny how I can ride hundreds of parables on the ZERO-G plane, but this flight somehow made me airsick. Exhaustion maybe…but I spent the final hour of the flight getting sick in a tiny airplane bathroom. Awesome…ahem….not really.

As happy as we are to be here, I could live with being teleported next time instead. Someone want to get right on that for me?

Update:

After a 3 hour nap the whole way up from Frankfurt, S was in a fantastic mood. We are all in bed now (9:00 local time) and will try again tomorrow. I’m so happy to be here. I had forgotten how beautiful it is and how much I love it here.

Clean Home, Home Study

2009-11-29T14:43:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow morning is our homestudy visit. We're excited to have our wonderful social worker Angela see S again. The last time she saw her in person was when S was just a few weeks old.

We have been cleaning. Not really for Angela or my Dad (who arrives Friday) or Arnd (our friend who arrives on Tuesday). We have been cleaning for us.

But between the trials and stress of daily life - there have been a few things that...ahem...didn't get done.

So we're doing them now. Cleaning baseboards. Touch up painting walls. Cleaning under the fridge...you know...the usual.

I told M that we should adopt a baby every year so we have to do these little things...

He said, "We should adopt a baby EVERY week!"

Anyone have a spare 20K a week?

Yeah, I didn't think so. :)

More after the homestudy.

Sounds Like Life

2009-11-23T21:44:00.002-05:00

My mom is so funny.

Lately, whenever I call her and give her an update about the funny, awkward, trying, and adventurous antics of our little family, she responds with,"Well that sounds like life!"

Ahem....that was not what was written in the script I sent you Mom....

The correct line included sympathy, commiseration, knowing laughter....not "That sounds like life!"

Amazing how frustrating life can be when people don't read their scripts...Sheesh. :)

But in the darkness and light of the last few days, I have begun to see that she was right.

So now I am publicly apologizing for the eye roll - even though we were on the phone and she didn't see it. Sorry Mom!

Life has hit in full force in the last few days.

Wednesday night (the night of the Creepy Puppet Guy) ended with my husband breaking his foot in a freak accident. On one of his busiest weeks of work ever. Three weeks before our European trip. With hundreds of adoption paperwork and homestudy looming,. Wed. night I felt so hopeless, so frustrated and worried about what might come next.

Sounds like life.

Thursday morning I called my doctor to confirm the time of my physical for the adoption only to find out it began in 5 minutes and I was 40 minutes away. That was her LAST physical appointment before our homestudy interview on Nov. 30th. Lovely. (She was able to get me in Friday, do a quick physical, give me my TB test and write for blood work and should be mailing off my form in the next day or so! Amen for her!!)

Sounds like life.

Friday I found myself at the local public library. Since I work from home, sometimes I need a change of location and have found the library to be a fascinating place to get some work done. I finished typing up all of our questionnaires for the homestudy documents and graded 25 papers in just about 3 hours all while listening to a crazy man read about asteroids out loud! I emailed all of our questionnaires (all 84 pages of them) to our social worker and was relieved to be done.

Sounds like life.

Saturday morning brought news from Germany that M's grandmother had passed away. We had planned a visit while in Germany to see her, but now will be gathering with family to honor her and share memories. We were so blessed to have her in our lives as long as we did. M thought about heading out early to try to make the funeral, but even with bereavement fares and our travel insurance, the cheapest flight I could find was $1900. So unfortunately, he won't be able to make it home in time.

Sounds like life.

Saturday night we had an impromptu family gathering. My mom had my nephew overnight and brought him over to play with S. My brother and sis-in-law came over to get him and joined us for dinner. I finally cooked a meal that a) tasted great and b) didn't require much work at all. (See recipe below if you are interested.) We had a great night watching the kids interact. We even captured our little stinker attempting to trick me while sharing a yogurt on our new video camera (a Christmas gift from my family). Once I figure out how to post video, I'll share it. It was a fabulous night, full of laughs and good food.

Sounds like life.

In the joys and sorrows of the past few days, I am grateful and thankful for the ups and downs of this life. It is a wild ride and I need to remember to stop and enjoy the little things, work through the rough patches, figure out how to celebrate and honor the moment and not always focus what it still to come.

After all it will come, the ups and downs, the joys and sorrows, the love, the laughter....

Sounds like life.

Creepy Puppet Guy

2009-11-18T23:29:00.000-05:00

Alternately titled: "I Spent 26 Dollars for This?" or "Don't Touch That" or "So Much for the Christmas Spirit!" or "Man, I Sound Uber Bitchy in this Post" or "Apparently We Didn't Get It"....I could go on for days... :)

We did not enjoy the "Reindeer Romp" at the Orlando Art Museum tonight. We went because we wanted S to have some semblance of an American Christmas before we left for Germany. We're not decorating or doing much since we leave so early in December this year.

Here are the highlights:

The cookies were tasty. Store bought. Publix I think. S loved them!

Here are the lowlights:

I thought it was at the Mennello Art Museum, so we decided to part at M's work and walk. Although the real event was nearby, walking that far with a 32 pound toddler who would neither walk or let M carry her, makes for a sweaty, tired Mama before the event even began. The trek back was even worse.
There was this lady (elf?) by the door with a coat with many pockets. Essentially it was like a wearable advent calendar. The kids stood in line to reach into her pockets to pull out a toy, or a piece of candy. My kid was too scared to reach in, so I did it for her. M was holding her at the time. I secretly wanted him to reach in, but I thought that would be a bit too creepy.
This event is NOT for toddlers. Non mobile infants strapped to carseats would enjoy it, but whoever thought advertising for toddler attendees was a little misguided. Here's why: Imagine a room full of awesome trees and beautiful gingerbread houses and you can't touch any of them!!
My kid was tired and not in the best mood. I was tired and not in the best mood. M was tired and not in the best mood. Seeing a pattern?
I learned tonight that my kid was afraid of Hello Kitty. Good to know.
She kept glancing at Santa looking terrified, so no 45 minute wait in line for Santa this year! :(
The wait for the balloon animal guy was too long, so we decided to move on. My kid simply wanted a balloon doggie, but asking a 2 year old to wait in line when cranky = no fun for all.
We finally made our way to the craft section, where my kid decorated a paper tree. She didn't want to add them to the tree mural on the wall, so she walked around carrying them for the rest of the night.
We watched a puppet show. The.Worst. Puppet. Show. Ever. Personally, I find puppeteers creepy to begin with, and this guy was no exception. My kid started to fall asleep during the puppet show if that gives you an idea of its entertainment value. Imagine draping a sheet over a chair and putting on old Christmas songs and acting them out with sock puppets. That would be a few steps up.
As we watched the puppet show, we had to dodge the huge carpenter ants that were crawling all over the area. I sure hope a portion of the 26 dollar donation I made goes toward pest control.

I don't mind donating for the arts. I really don't. But there is no way I will be attending this event again.

Heck, I'll even send the museum 26 bucks next year, just for the priviledge of NOT attending.

Speed Dating for Adoption

2009-11-15T13:57:00.000-05:00

I know it's impractical of me, but sometimes I wish they had speed dating for adoption.

Hear me out....

What if a group of potential adoptive parents gathered in a room with a group of potential birthmothers? There was a "speed dating" round, where we could all meet and then those interested could contact the ones they "like" and could potentially move forward.

I'm not oblivious to the problems for all parties from meetings like these. Can you imagine how overwhelming this would be for a birthmother? Also consider the raised expectations of all parties that "today might be the day!" Side note: I wake each morning thinking, "Today might be the day..." The air would be heavy with anticipation and many would leave unsatisfied and unmatched.

Developing your family profile is like preparing for a round of speed dating.

Umm...just so you know....I wasn't good at dating, speed dating or any other kind....just ask anyone who has know me prior to M! :)

I feel so awkward right now - stressed over presenting our family in the best light so that potential birthmothers will "LIKE" us.

I fret over each little detail of our family profile.

Are we funny enough?
Do S look happy enough?
Are we too eager? Not eager enough?
Too fat? Too thin?
Too boring? (Life with us is certainly NOT boring, in my opinion).
Too Christian, not Christian enough?

The reality is that we are just like many families. Neither perfect or perfectly normal.

We are your fairly normal, bilingual, multicultural household with a two parents, a toddler, a cat, a minivan, a house on a lake, enough to be comfortable, faith, loving and supportive family and friends, a lot of laughter, and an abundance of love.

How do you put yourself out there and try to make yourself appear to be "more worthy" than another family?

Families seeking adoption are there for a reason. Heartache due to child loss, infertility, some feel called to adopt, or a whole host of issues that led them to turn to adoption.

This occurred to me as I was talking to Lianna and we were discussing presenting our profiles to the same location. This means that the same potential birthmother could be looking at BOTH of our profiles and deciding who gets the honor or raising her baby.

But you see, I know Lianna's story. It's just like mine - at least the heartache part is...
I want them to be parents more than anything.
More than myself? Probably - because I already have S.

See the dilemma?

I know, I'm a little slow in realizing all of this adoption stuff - but it never really occurred to me that we would be "competing" against other couples for a child.

But on the other hand, I have no doubt that our child (or twins) will find us....

All I can do is put the best and most realistic version of ourselves out there. Pray for patience. Pray for peace and know whoever the birthmother chooses, it is the right decision.

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

—Romans 8:25

Amen.

Adoption Q and A

2009-11-11T08:39:00.002-05:00

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about adoption. I had a conversation about adoption with my new blogger friend Lianna, and there were a few things that she asked that I thought were important to share.

1. Why the lack of real names on our blog?
Our birthmom (whose story I haven't completed) struggles with addiction and lives in the area. With her history, we feel that it is safer for us all to not have a fully open adoption at this time.

2. Why not foster/adopt?
My journey through infertility was one that broke my heart. It broke my spirit. It made me feel like a failure despite all of the other successes in my life. Although it has since mended quite a bit because of S, I am not mentally or emotionally prepared to welcome a child into our lives and have them removed from our lives. Yes, adoption has risks - but the more I can buffer my heart from those risks, the better.

3. Why did you not pursue fertility treatments? Why adopt?
M is adopted. So is his sister. With my ovarian condition, the odds were not good, and if we invested all of that money into trying to create our "own" and it didn't work....I simply wasn't interested in continuing to "fail." M and I discussed going the IVF route for this baby, but ultimately decided that adoption was a better option for us. Why created something new, when there are so many children that need safe and loving homes? Do I think we might "try" again (or adopt again) in a few years....YES! After all, we have a minivan, a big house, and even bigger hearts. There is plenty of room! :)

4.What about the risks of a failed adoption?
We feel that if an adoption situation fails then that simply means that child is not supposed to be ours. Will we be heartbroken? Of course!! But our firm faith in God simply says that our child will find us.

5. Where are you in the adoption process?
We have our homestudy interview on November 30th. We only have a few more documents to complete (and due to S's illness, I am WAY behind!). As soon as our homestudy is complete, I will submit our applications for grants and loan funding. Then the waiting begins!

6. Are you locating your own birthmother?
Yes and no. Maybe so. Not sure. Our current agency does not actively recruit birthmothers. They might get wind of a situation that would work for us, but that is a MIGHT. So we are seeking out other resources. We're planning on using social media (twitter, etc.) to try to network with someone who might know of someone....also we are looking at an agency in AL that has a small application fee and nothing until you get a placement. There is also a school in Northern Florida that is for pregnant teens and I'm contacting them about potential situations. As I've said before, our child will find us. (The key is being patient....speaking of that- S has taken to saying , "It's coming. Be patient!" a bunch lately. Usually it is in reference to the TV taking time to warm up, but what a great reminder! She also calls her baby brother to be, Bukas).

If you happen to know of an adoption situation that might work for us (Full Caucasian boy or b/g twins) or want to ask questions, make recommendations, etc....our email address is ourlittleerdnuss@gmail.com.

Thanks and please remember to vote daily (link on right). We have been bumped off the Top 10 and are no longer leading the Personal category.

HEALTH UPDATE: S got a clean bill of health from her cardiologist on Monday. No fever. Still not quite herself, but hopefully will be soon. It's so nice to have my sweet, snuggly girl back. Off to the dermatologist this morning. Will report later. Ciao!

My Poor Girl

2009-11-08T13:39:00.000-05:00

Is sick.

Like sick, sick.

As in, coughing so much that she gasps and chokes.

I'm watching her like a hawk and hoping to avoid a trip to the swine infested ER. We're headed to the ped in the morning after cardiology.

Our trip to Jacksonville was not fun (except the brief good hours S had while visiting Lianna). We had a great talk about adoption.

Oh and today I got a contract to develop an online course. The amount that I will be paid is exactly the amount of the check I sent to our agency. God does provide!

More when I know more....

Until then, if you are interested in more of S's story : click here.

Thanks for all the support. Please vote daily using the link on the right.

Indicative of My Day

2009-11-06T23:12:00.000-05:00

Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day!

Mystery Not Solved

2009-11-05T23:52:00.000-05:00

Oh my sweet girl! Last night was pretty rough on us all. Not much sleep to be found...note the bags under her eyes.

I awoke to her wheezing and rattling this morning. Not good. After not eating any dinner last night, she asked for pizza for breakfast. I happily complied since it's been days since she has really eaten much. (M said that I took away one of those college "firsts" - eating cold pizza for breakfast! Oh well! She ate!) She lost a pound over the last week!!!

Put a call into her pediatrician and her pulmonologist (which reminds me that they never did call me back!) Well considering they almost killed her months ago....maybe that's a good thing.

Ped called back and wanted us to come in. S was diagnosed with another ear infection last week and it appeared that the drops weren't working well and we might have to switch to oral antibiotics. I HATE oral antibiotics, especially since S spent 14 weeks straight on them earlier in the year. Ugh.

So we went into our peds office and I took these pics. (Yes, I did let her wear her pajamas in public. So sue me. They're cute, and I was TIRED.)

Trying to escape!

Come on Mama, let's go!

If you won't let me leave, then I will just hit you and tear up this paper. (This was followed by a time out!)

But I want to put the pulse ox back on! Now! Now! Now!

This was not a pleasant visit with a grumpy 2 year old and a 2 hour wait....but we ended up with good news.

It isn't Influenza A or B. Or Strep. So just a cold. No explanation for the crazy heart rate/fast breathing/peeling hand thingy. This doc (not our usual ped) also recommended that we head up to Gainesville for a rheumatology evaluation. She thinks S has some systemic inflammatory disorder. Lovely.

Her O2 stats were a bit low for S, between 95-97, but other than that...

She is running a low grade fever tonight, but we are still headed out of town in the morning. I may live to regret this trip, but it isn't really that far, and if S gets really sick, then we'll just come home.

More tomorrow.

Please remember to vote for this blog. Click on the Orbbies link on the right hand side. Thanks!

Quick Health Update

2009-11-04T22:12:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I learned that S has been exposed to H1N1 at her preschool. This was distressing, but not unexpected. (I mean, where isn't the piggy flu now?) We got her the vaccine, but only 8 days ago...

When S gets sick, she usually gets into moderate respiratory distress. Normal breathing rate for her age is per min is 30. Our pulmonologist gave us an outside margin of 35. Tonight, as she sat still in my arms, S's was between 48-50.

Not good.

She currently does not have a fever, but is obviously working hard to breathe. Her little heart is racing again too because she is working hard to breathe or she's working hard to breathe because her heart is racing. I don't know.

This isn't the first time. She's a mystery.

Poor kid has a pulmonologist, cardiologist, ENT, gastroenterologist, endocrinologist, opthamologist, nephrologist, neurologist, neurosurgeon and soon a dermatologist (rheumatology and immunology are coming shortly too). We know quite a few nurses on staff in both the ER and the pediatric floor.

We have an appointment next Monday with her cardiologist to discuss whether her peeling hands and feet over the last few months have any cardiac implications. She also has an appointment with dermatology on Wed. of next week to discuss some eczema issues and further investigate a cause of the peeling hands and feet. Lovely...

I just want to fix this....and I don't know how....

Yes, I worry. Something minor can spiral out of control so quickly with S. No one knows why.

So I'll be up most of the night probably....maybe I'll go sleep in there with her - just to be safe. Hoping this is something that can wait until morning, but that remains to be seen.

Update:
I just went back in to check on S. Respiration rate is 33-37 and pulse is better. She is sweaty, cold and clammy. Will check on her again in a few.

Bittersweet Miracle

2009-11-02T23:13:00.005-05:00

There are always two sides to every story. Adoption is no different.

As blessed as we have been to get the honor to raise S, we also recognize that is another side of adoption. The choice. The heartache. The consequences.
The loss. The loss. The loss. The loss.

We cried as S's adoption was finalized in court. We recognized that our gain, was her birthfamily's loss and it was heart wrenching. We cried for the siblings she would never know. The grandparents who will not get to watch her grow or listen to her laugh. We cried for the father who met her just twice. We cried for the ache that lives in her birthmother.

As blessed as we are and how much our lives have been touched by adoption - I know I couldn't do it. I knew, from this first touch in the NICU, that I could and would never give her up. And she wasn't even ours yet...The choice to give a child up for adoption is one I am still just beginning to understand and come to terms with - even two and a half years after S was first placed in our arms.

So even though we grieved for S's birthmom, her other children, and extended family we also grieved for S. When her birthfather died - we grieved for the man S would never have the opportunity to meet. (If she had chosen to). Even with the recognition of the heartache and sacrifice, I was unprepared when a package arrived from her birthmother.

Included in the package were updated pictures of S's siblings. More information about her birthfather's death.

And a few cards.

Those cards were written to S using her birth name. A name that we never use, but one that we refer to in communication with her birthfamily. They were signed....

Love, Mommy and Daddy

Believe it or not, I didn't fully comprehend until that moment that someone else also considers themselves to be her Mommy. I mean, I knew that, but I didn't get it. I didn't get how complicated this whole adoption thing was - for all of us.

As I struggle to identify what this all means, I wonder how I am going to explain this to S someday in the near future. And I wonder how the lessons we've learned so far can help in our upcoming adoption.

Adoption is a bittersweet, loving, heartbreaking and joyous miracle.

Reflection of Myself

2009-11-01T23:37:00.001-05:00

I will admit that it was good( in a strange way) to actually capture the horrible events of last week in a blog post. I was shaking while writing it - proof that the feelings were still incredibly raw and close to the surface. As with all wounds, time will surely heal.

We had frustrations with S's adoption too. There were delays and frustrations on that journey, but the memory of those experiences faded once S joined our family. (I suppose for mothers who labored and birthed their own children - it would be similar to forgetting how crappy childbirth was!)

Even through the trials of our adoption of S, they seem minor compared to the trials and heartbreak we experienced over the 4.5 years we tried to conceive a child of our own.

Honestly, I hadn't thought too much about those years or reflected upon them because simply I was too busy being a mom.

That was, until I stumbled upon a reflection of myself. Let me explain...

I'm not even sure when I first started reading Lianna's blog, but it must have been more than six months ago. The ache in each post was so acutely familiar that it was almost too difficult to read.

Each post I read I must have thought,"I remember feeling like that" or "I've been there" a million times. It was as if I was reading my innermost thoughts during one of the most difficult periods of my life. Like I said, I stumbled upon a reflection of myself.

I won't deny that I wanted to scream at her, "Just adopt!!" (I tend to think that is an obvious answer - but I forget that others must get there on their own.) I was much more diplomatic than that. I sent her an email about how her posts reminded me of my own angst and how adoption changed my world. An excerpt:

"I just wanted to be a mom.

I knew I was supposed to be a mom. God also knew...and His will was made clear in a million different ways on our adoption path. There is NO doubt in my mind that S was supposed to be our child. She just came to us from another mother. But she was supposed to be ours. I don't know if I can articulate this as well as I want to since it is so late, but I know that she was sent to us. To heal us. To teach us lessons about life, sacrifice, love, hope, and struggle (health). And even though I didn't give birth to her, she is my daughter. And I am a mother because of her and the loving sacrifice made by her birth mom."

She wrote back enthusiastically and wanted more details. And I didn't write her back....

Now in my defense, it was during the height of S's health stuff....but kinda sucky on my part. :(

Months passed. I think I got back in touch with her via her blog. And she wrote back and I actually responded this time!

She lives in a city north of here that M, S and I are going to be visiting this coming weekend. So if all goes well, hopefully we will get the chance to meet!

After constant heartache, Lianna and her husband have started down the path toward adoption. I am so excited for them!

I'm excited about the sharing this journey of filling out paperwork, trying to recruit (for lack of a better word) a birthmom, and trying to articulate how I never thought I could love anyone or anything as much as I love S.

It wasn't until I read her posts that I realized that those feelings I felt while trying to conceive weren't entirely gone. But they have been diminished by my love for S and the joy she brings to my life. I cannot WAIT for Lianna to feel that way too.

And now I leave you with a picture from last night of my pigtailed, smiling, Pirate! I love her so!

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T11:17:00.000-04:00

The Operatic Pirate

The Thoughtful Pirate

The Shy Pirate

The Yawning Pirate

The You-Just-Took-Away-My-Candy-So-I'm-Crying Pirate

Who knew pirates had such a range of emotions? :)

Severing Ties that Bind

2009-10-30T13:14:00.001-04:00

Well folks! Sit back. Grab a cup of coffee or glass of wine, because this is going to be a long post.

A few things to know:
1. We are in the process of adopting a second child.
2. We decided to use a different agency than we used for S because our original agency raised their fees beyond our budget.
3. We decided to use a small, Christian Adoption Agency in Jacksonville, FL after the recommendation of a friend of a friend. (more on this part later...)
4. We have had issues with this agency since the beginning of our interaction with them. See this post for more information. I'm going to start from where this post leaves off.

Click below, I didn't want this situation taking any more space than necessary in my life!

After 4.5 weeks we still hadn't received the supposedly "overnighted" home study documents from the agency. So on Monday, I wrote this message to the agency.
***************************************************************
10/19/09
Hi (name removed):
When we spoke last Tuesday afternoon, it was my understanding that our homestudy documents would be FedEx'd the next day (Wed) as we have been waiting for quite a while to begin the homestudy process. Our
application was received in your office Sept. 16th. and we still have not received any documents almost five weeks later.

I know that you explained that you are short staffed (more on that in a minute) but I can't help but feel a little disappointed at the delay.

Two questions:
1. Does (agency name removed) charge to review a homestudy completed through an outside agency? If so, what would that fee be?
Due to the delays and to lighten your workload, we would like to have our homestudy conducted by our previous provider. I just need to add in any additional fees on (agency name)'s end into our budget. Please advise.

2. I know that you are short staffed. I am in the area and would be willing to come up and volunteer if that would help. It is clear to me that you guys could use some assistance, and I would be happy to help! Just let me know!
I really hope to hear from you soon regarding the acceptance of a home study conducted by another provider.

Thanks, N and M
*****************************************************
The phone rang.

It was the Adoptive Parent Coordinator who explained that she left to go on a cruise and left our address at work so she could not mail our documents. I explained my frustration and that we were for sure using our other homestudy provider now. She said she "overnighted" the documents

As inept as I thought this woman was, I kind of liked her. She had a way of putting me at ease and convincing me that everything was going to be okay and that the delays were just because a staff member had been fired and wouldn't continue. I'm not entirely sure if she apologized or not....but I hung up the phone feeling okay about using our other homestudy provider to conduct our homestudy and this agency to find us a birthmother.

Until all hell broke loose. What the Adoptive Parent Coordinator didn't know is that I cc'd the Center Director on the email above. (Honestly, I cc'd the Director because I wasn't sure if she was aware of our situation....not that she ever returned any of my email messages!)

The phone rang again.

It was the Adoptive Parent Coordinator again, speaking in a tone I hadn't heard before. She said, "I just got a call from the Center Director and she wanted me to call you back and urge you to reconsider letting us conduct your homestudy." I apologized to the Coordinator because she got in trouble. Then she said, "The Center Director is really upset." (Upset with us? The Adoptive Parent Coordinator?) I tried to get a feel for whether or not the Center Director was too upset to continue working with us. The Adoptive Parent Coordinator then said, "I'm just calling you because I don't want to be the next one to get fired!" LOVELY!

I told her we'd get back to her about the entire homestudy fiasco soon. Deep down I thought....wow, this is Christian Agency. What is going on?

A little later I received the following reply to my email from the Center Director:
*****************************************************************
Ms (name removed),
I just spoke to (name removed) again
Ur fingerprints are good for 5 years. I would just need ur previous hs with copy of ur fingerprint results. Ur other clearences should be back in our office within couple weeks.
We do not have a birthmother to match u with
At this time. I hope (name removed) explained to u that being gender and race specfic also makes the process take longer. Its all Gods timing
blessings
Center Director (name removed)
*****************************************************************
note: with the exception of the change of the names, nothing in this message was altered. It was sent from her BlackBerry. I had a BlackBerry and you can use capitalization and punctuation. Just saying!

M and I discussed it that night and decided that we were going to still stay with the Agency, but have our homestudy done elsewhere. I emailed the Adoptive Parent Coordinator and asked for a week to consider and told her we would get back to her on Monday Oct.26th.

On the morning of the 26th, I wrote the following email to the Center Director
******************************************************************
(Name Removed),

Thank you for your response.

We certainly do realize that this process is in God's time. Our frustration stems from a lack of response from your office to emails, and the timely mailing of documents. It took five weeks from the time you received our application until we received our homestudy documents.

Now it seems that we have caused an issue by trying to complete our homestudy elsewhere. That was certainly not our intention in the slightest. The woman providing our homestudy is the same one who conducted our first one - who we have remained in contact with since S's adoption. In the beginning of this process we really had a hard time NOT choosing them to conduct our homestudy, but ultimately decided to go through you instead. That was - until we became increasingly frustrated by the lack of response from (Agency name removed).

Its not a matter of having a birthmom to match us with now. We do understand that our gender and race specifications will mean for a longer wait. But it was our understanding that that wait was longer AFTER the homestudy process, not before. Even a brief "We're swamped and will get those documents to you as soon as we can" email would have gone a long way.

Our urgency comes from the fact that we cannot apply for grants for our adoption (because our daughter's health costs depleted our funds for a second adoption) until we are homestudy ready. This was expressed in our original contact with you in June.

We decided to go through (Agency name removed) because of the great review we received from church members that adopted through you. We felt as if God was not a focal part of our previous agency and wanted Him to be this time. We prayed and prayed and felt led to use your agency to grow our family.

It's an issue of trust for us. We have asked your agency to locate and place a new baby with our family. That is placing a HUGE amount of trust in you. If we email, we have an expectation that there will be a timely response. If we are told that papers are being sent, then the expectation is that we will be receiving papers.

Yes, we have been disappointed up to this point - but that does not mean that we are all not able to move forward from here. I am hoping that we are able to resolve these issues and continue to work together.

Please call me at your convenience at (phone number removed) to discuss this further.

Thank you,
N
***********************************************************
Monday passed, no phone call. (Shocking, eh?)

Side note: I have to mention here that I received the contact info from the friend of a friend who adopted through this agency to ask if they had similar problems. After I sent this message to the Center Director, I emailed this lady and told her the situation. Included in the email was this paragraph:

"I'm upset because I honestly don't know what to say to their frustrations because I feel like they were the ones that caused the issue in the first place. My husband wants to find a new agency because he's concerned that they have lost a certain level of trust necessary when someone is helping to choose a new member of the family. He's also worried that perhaps they will not work as hard as they might of if we hadn't caused any "issues."

This will come into play in a minute....

Tuesday morning, the phone rang.

It was the Assistant Center Director calling. We had never spoken before... My initial reaction was annoyed because the Center Director did not contact us personally. The conversation started cordially enough, but there was a tone in her voice that said this wasn't going to be good.

How right was I?

My question: Why isn't the center director calling me herself?

Answer: Because she's at a conference and she asked me to "handle you."

She began by giving me a play by play of our history with the agency beginning in June. (Umm..I knew all that. I was there, remember?). Then she said,"The staffing issues were just a momentary blip and that wasn't the reason for the delay in getting the paperwork to you. The problem was YOUR expectations!"

Okay, wait a minute....um...I don't think I was being unreasonable about having to wait five weeks to receive a packet of documents. (Especially since our new homestudy provider got ours to us 3 days after we contacted them!).

So I asked, "Well, what is the usual turn around time?" She said, "Well we try to get them out the same week"
I countered with, "That WAS my expectation! What didn't that happen?"

She had no response to that but moved on to the next topic of insult.

My question: But what about being lied to multiple times by the Adoptive Parent Coordinator about when our documents arrived?
Response: The Adoptive Parent Coordinator has since been fired. Not just for your situation but she had some other "issues" we weren't aware of. (Did I mention that this agency has only THREE employees? How can they NOT be aware?!?!) Now we are left trying to do all of the work she didn't do. (But didn't you just say that the staffing issues were not the cause of the paperwork issues?)

At one point she offered to return our application fee ($500 raised at our garage sale). I wasn't ready to give up on repairing this relationship until....

She said, "We're not going to apologize again (Did they ever? Not sure). We already offered to come down to complete your study. If you are going to complain, vent and talk about us*, every time your expectations aren't met, then we don't want to continue working with you."

* Talk about us....I hadn't talked to anyone except.....the friend of a friend from church. Honestly, if I loved this agency and someone was talking crap about it, I probably would have let the agency know too. I don't blame her, I understand where she was coming from, but it explained a bit of the Agency's anger. They thought I was talking bad about them to other people...

By this point, I'm almost in tears. This WASN'T how the conversation was supposed to go. They were supposed to call. Apologize profusely. Try harder. Work more efficiently. Return my email and phone calls. And find me a son. And we'd live happily ever after....

A few other comments she made:
"If you don't trust us, don't work with us!"
"If you are going to question our integrity and vent to other people, then there is no reason to continue."
"The tone of your email was inappropriate and rude."
"We already said we'd do your homestudy, what else do you want from us?"
"We've been in this business 20 years. Ask any of our families and they had great experiences."
"It was both inappropriate and uncalled for you to even suggest coming up here to help us. We don't need your help and it was rude to assume that we needed any help."

The last one made me cry. Hard.

I was serious about going up to volunteer. I felt bad for any other families who were waiting on stupid paperwork like we were and I honestly wanted to help. Did I add that because I knew it would get their attention? Yes.
But would I have really done it? Absolutely. I explained all of this to her as I began to shake and cry harder.

She countered with something....I can't even remember now...

I was D.O.N.E., done, done DONE!!

I finally said, "Just send us our application fee back then!"

Click. She hung up on me.

I sent an email to the Center Director immediately following this phone call, documenting that we would be receiving our full $500 application fee back and that she could consider this email as severing any and all ties with her agency. (I'm still amazed at my restraint. The things I wanted to say).

Now we'll have to see if they give us our money back.

Busy Week! Need a Nap!

2009-10-24T13:03:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. It has been a busy week.

This week I've:

Graded 60 papers for Online Teaching Job #1.
Pressure washed the walkway and the driveway.
Cleaned the gutters.
Paid bills.
Started home study documents.
Completed my new hire paperwork (15 pages) for Online Teaching Job #2.
Picked up a lost cow toy at a doctor's office.
Went to the International Food Festival at EPCOT and spent a rare and glorious weekday with M.
Put together S's new bedroom furniture (still working on this).
Dealt with a cranky Hand, Foot and Mouth infected S. (Again!)
Purchased 800 pounds of furniture by myself at IKEA. (Won't be doing that again).
Upset Adoption Agency #1.
Excited about Adoption Agency #2. Still keeping #1 though...long story....post of it's own.
Worked on our adoption book.
Did not clean my house and it shows.
Repotted yellow mums.
Purchased art for the house.
Redecorated the master bedroom.
Ironed everything I could find.
Been mostly a single parent as this is M's busy time at work. Won't see him much until Thanksgiving.
Wished we could bring Lukas home now. (Yes, that is his name).
Laughed a lot.
Ate too much. (Still down 30 lbs though).

So you can see, I've simply been too busy to update this blog. I will do better soon. Maybe... I'll try!

We Are Paper Pregnant

2009-10-17T20:59:00.000-04:00

Doesn't this shirt say it all?

We sent our application in September to the new agency we're using for the adoption. I wanted to post right when we sent it, but I expected to hear something a few days later. (Like they loved us and were so excited to have us as a waiting couple.)

But nothing. Not a peep!

One week went by. Still no word.

Did I mention I was emailing them every few days? I did get word that they received our application and that we would receive a letter in the mail. I raced out each day to greet the mailman. No letter. This daily disappointment ironically felt a bit like taking a pregnancy test and getting a negative result ~~day after day~~ month after month.

Another week went by. Then two. Still nothing.

At this point. I'm frustrated and a bit upset (understatement).

We got the letter the 2nd of October. We'd been accepted and were officially "paper pregnant"!! The letter said that our homestudy documents would arrive shortly as well as some examples of adoptive parent profiles. We were elated and I went to work on our adoption profile so I could focus on the homestudy documents when they arrived.

Nothing. No papers. No profiles. NOTHING!

We were supposed to be using this agency to do our homestudy, but my thought was - if they were taking this long to even respond to us, that the homestudy would take forever. And we're ready for our son now and have already lost FOUR weeks of time....Ahhhhhh....

In frustration, I reached out to the company that conducted our last homestudy. I explained the situation and they said that they could start immediately and get it done quickly. They even offered to FedEx homestudy documents that afternoon! Talk about service! :)

I made a call to our agency in an attempt to find out if there would be an additional cost to review an outside homestudy. I got someone on the phone. The adoptive parent coordinator. (I'd left two messages for her and sent 4 emails and never got a response).

She was gracious and apologetic. I guess one of their staff members left and now they are down to two people handling ~~too~~ many cases. I tried to be sympathetic. I really did.

By the end of the conversation, I was much less upset and she promised to FedEx the homestudy documents and those adoption profiles. That was Tuesday afternoon.

I called our former homestudy agency back and told them that it sounded like our adoption agency could handle the homestudy, but if I didn't get the promised homestudy documents in the next week - I'd call them back and hire them.

As of today (Sat.), nothing.

More when I know more....

A Clever Parenting Moment

2009-10-01T12:15:00.001-04:00

I hate washing dishes. As in H-A-T-E. In fact, I will do just about anything to get out of doing them. While at IKEA (land of the $2.64 lunch!) I found this new step stool and was struck by a moment of pure genius.

S loves to play in the water. She loves bubbles.

I wondered if I could teach my two year old to wash dishes. Hmmm....

I thought we'd give it a try. I put the step stool in front of the sink, and S went to town. I taught her how to use the scrub brush to clean the pots (my new Rachel Ray cookware) and then we practiced rinsing off all the bubbles (or making the bubbles go bye-bye) and then I dried the dishes.

S had a blast.

I have clean dishes!

I wonder what else she can do!! :) I'm kidding....kind of....

Long Overdue Health Update

2009-09-30T09:07:00.003-04:00

Overall S has been doing very well. We’ve made some changes recently that seem to be helping.

Her health picture right now:

Asthma – S still needs occasional breathing treatments when she gets the slightest hint of a cough. Usually nighttime is the worst for her, so for a while we were giving nebulizer treatments before bed and that seemed to reduce the nighttime coughing fits. The move from a carpeted room to one with hardwood floors was a great one for her. She used to wake up multiple times coughing at night in the carpeted room and that has been reduced to once or twice a night. We are all sleeping better as a result.

Reflux – This problem is pretty bad right now. For a while after eating or drinking S would burp incessantly. Honestly for a while I thought she was mimicking M (Sorry Honey). But then it occurred to me (rather slowly I might add) that her coughing fits were at the same time every time. So either she has the most regular sleep cycle ever, OR the reflux was back. Her pediatrician put her back on Zantac for a while and we will be having a follow up with the gastroenterologist to see what our options are. Thankfully S seems to be going much better medicated. Hard to tell if her coughing fits are better because of the move to the new room, or both…but either way the constant burping has stopped. Her reflux must have been bothering her because after being on meds for a few weeks we missed a dose and she actually spit up – something she hasn’t done in months!! Poor girl. Her pulmonologist thinks that she possibly has airway/lung damage from all of the reflux and wants to do a bronchoscopy at some point. Problem is, no one is willing to put her under general anesthesia to explore this further. Fine by me (for now).

Neuro Issues: The results of all of the testing that we had done this summer were inconclusive. She is not having seizures and the MRI showed no tumors or lesions on her brain. Our neurologist said that she has additional fluid on her brain in the lower back portion but that it wasn’t causing any issues. Essentially the benign hydrocephalus that she had as a baby never fully resolved itself but did not increase. Her neurosurgeon said he didn’t see anything –but I didn’t argue with either one of them. I have learned to take each doc’s opinion as a piece of the puzzle, even if they don’t fit. I’ve also realized that medicine (especially with mysterious medical issues) is mostly just a guessing game. Frustrating but true.

Genetic Testing: S’s neurologist sent out her blood for genetic testing in July and we have yet to receive results. There is a company called 23andme.com that sells kits to do genetic testing and then is compiling information into a large database. I am curious to see if S’s results can be entered into this database to try to identify predispositions or patterns. Since we don’t have that much information about her birthparents, getting an overall picture would be fantastic.

I had hoped by the time that I would write this update that we would have some clear cut answers, but we don’t.

What we do know:

S has elevated lymphocytes and a large quantity of abnormal lymphocytes.
Her other liver enzymes have returned to normal. However, her alkaline phosphatase levels have been elevated for more than six months.
She continues to be bothered by asthma and allergies. If I do not dust her room multiple times a week, her sleeping is severely affected.
Her energy has greatly improved since the last time she was in preschool. This is in part to better sleep at night, overall increase in health, and the fact that if she is showing signs of fatigue, I keep her home and let her sleep (one of the benefits of working from home).

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the Flu this year –especially since so many of my friends (not local yet) have the flu (H1N1 or Infl. A). We’re all getting our flu shots this year (not the H1N1 shot though). I’m meeting with her pediatrician next week to come up with a plan of action should S get the flu. Last year’s flu shot did not prevent her from getting the flu and that was what sparked a 5 month decline in health. We are hoping for better luck this season, but are realists. She is in preschool fulltime – surrounded by other ~~snotty~~ kids. It’s spreading quickly. If we do end up with the flu – I am pretty certain that we will have a good plan in place.

We are also meeting with her pulmonogist and pediatrican to discuss some preventative things we can either do or take with us on our trip to Germany in December. I’m not sure if they’ll give us Tamiflu to carry with us, but in a case like S’s – it would be better to have that on hand. We also travel with antibiotics for ear infections, UTI’s and respiratory issues. We also bought travel insurance for this trip just to be safe. You just never know.

So that’s where we stand.

We’re still a bit on uncertain ground, but things have settled down enough to catch our breath. We haven’t been to the pediatrician in three weeks now and just had our first trip to the ER in 4 months a few days ago (nothing to worry about, just blood work.) With any luck, I won’t have to write another health update for a while.

Positive thinking, right?

Look What She Can Do!!

2009-09-28T12:33:00.005-04:00

S has been developing like crazy lately. Here are some videos of what she can do now. She knows most of her shapes. For some reason, she calls the rectangle a choo choo train. Too cute!

She also can count. I've heard her go as high as 17 without missing. I only caught the tail end of this one. Hope to catch the whole thing soon.

She's in love with the Fresh Beat Band from Nickelodeon. They show their videos on demand at the beginning of Dora and other Nick shows.

The problem? The segments are only 1.5 min. long.

The solution? Teach S to press the rewind button herself.

Taa Daa!

She knows all of her colors in English and in German. She confuses yellow and blue sometimes but usually on purpose with a sly smile.

She knows the ABC song, which I'm still working on capturing. She can recognize A,B,C,E,H,I,S,T,V,X,Z.

She amazes me.

Playing Musical Rooms

2009-09-19T08:51:00.006-04:00

So about six weeks ago we I decided to move things in our house around.

S's breathing troubles seemed worse and I felt that she needed to get out of a carpeted room and into a room with hardwood floors. Now as I'm writing this, I could have just laid new flooring in her nursery, but honestly - I didn't think of that until now.

If there is a harder way to do something, or a more convoluted way - I usually find it.

So S's room was getting moved into our existing office. (next door) She needed a "Big Girl" room near the bathroom. But before we could do that, we had to move the office somewhere. Due to an airconditioning issue (proximity to the air handler), our master bedroom has always been about 10 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. In the summer in Florida, it just wasn't fun. So for years we have been moving into our guest room (closer to the air handler) in the summer. The guest room has always been the nicest, coldest room in the house. Seeing as we usually only have guests in the winter - we decided to move the guest room into the master bedroom and the master into the guest room.

So if you are following: S's room to the office. master and guest room swap.

Because of the large size of the master bedroom, we also moved the office into the master.

So: S's room to the office. The office to the master. The master and guest room swap.

S's former nursery became a play room, so I could get her ~~junk~~ stuff out of the living room. She loves having space to play and often goes in there, says, "Bye, bye" and will sit down and color for a few minutes on her own! Pictures are coming soon. Apparently I didn't have the camera battery charged.

But here are pictures of S's new room.

Office Before:

Now S's Room.

I had a blast painting the murals. I painted them on posterboard and attached them with these, so they are removable and won't damage the paint. Also I wasn't exactly sure where I wanted them so I'm so glad that I made them movable. I think I still need to add one more to the right of S's name - I'm thinking maybe a tree.

closeup of Lion mural

inspiration for lion mural

curtains, chair and monkey mural

closeup of monkey mural

inspiration for Monkey mural

bedding

matching artwork

I'm a bargain shopper, so I found towels on clearance at Target and am redecorating the S's bathroom too. I found the discontinued shower curtain, and hand towels on eBay. I'll post pictures of that room too when they arrive. Since we can't move - rearranging the house has made it feel brand new! Okay, maybe not BRAND new, but at least a little different.

Just So You Know What I am Up Against

2009-09-10T21:43:00.003-04:00

Enjoy!

Homework at 2????

2009-09-08T22:00:00.000-04:00

Yep, they start 'em early in these here parts! Homework at 2! Seriously. Shape tracing, coloring AND handwriting practice. Watch the video for my little ambidextrous girl. Too cute! She is saying down, down, down because that is the handwriting stroke that they are working on right now. As a teacher, I totally know this is developmentally INappropriate. As a mom though, I'm so proud!!

Good News/Bad News

2009-09-03T23:07:00.003-04:00

Good news , I have been hired for two online adjunct teaching positions in the last week. Yeah for working at home and yeah for having an income!! I am so happy and will have to write more about this.

Bad news, we bought a brand new car last week. A 2010 Toyota Sienna and love it. But there were some scratches on it when we got it, so we took it back to be fixed. Long story short, there were new scratches now that weren't there before. WORST. CAR BUYING. EXPERIENCE. EVER. More on this if I am legally allowed to discuss it, but lets just say we ended up having to call the police to come to the dealership. M and I don't really get mad often, but this was the most angry either one of has EVER been. So unhealthy and ultimately fruitless (as of tonight) and a good reminded why we don't buy cars often.

More soon.

We are hosting a garage sale on Sat morning (if you are in the area, come on by) to raise money for the adoption of our son to be. That, along with job training has kept me off of the blog this week. Will hopefully be able to finally get to the promised posts next week.

Have a great weekend and wish us luck in our fundraising on Sat.

Hands and Toes

2009-08-30T13:19:00.007-04:00

It started last Sunday when my parents were visiting. My mom called my name from the porch in a different tone of voice than usual. She asked S to show me her hands and S's skin was fallingoff her fingertips on her left hand. I mean, we're talking chunks. Thin layers, but huge (dime sized). We brought her in from playing in the water and dried her off to get a better look.

My first guess was that she touched some chemical in our house. But we are so careful about that and so that was a no.

I thought maybe she touched a magic eraser that I had left on the counter top, but it was still in the same place and if you know anything about 2 year olds - they are incapable of putting things back in the exact place...so that was a no.

Then I assumed that maybe it was from touching the bathroom floor at school. They have taught the kids to put their hands on the floor with their bottoms in the air so that they can be wiped after visiting the facilities. While I appreciate the gesture in ensuring that my kid is always wiped well, the fact that she tries to "assume the position" in public bathrooms with disgusting floors is MORE than I can bear. Must.tell.daycare.to.stop.that!!

By Tuesday both hands were peeling. Just on her fingertips.

Here are a few pics we took. Hard to see exactly, but see how the tips are red? They don't seem to hurt her much, if at all, but the skin falling off freaks her out. Poor girl.

Friday we went to the pediatrician to get her ears looked at since she was saying that they hurt, but the pediatrician didn't have any guesses except that she came in contact with something and we would probably never know what it was. She said lots of lotion and to keep an eye on it.

Last night it started on her toes. Just the tips of her toes but also in huge chunks.

This morning, her poor raw fingers have started a second peel on the already tender skin.

From my dear friends on Facebook, I've heard many suggestions. The one that makes the most sense is yet another bout of Hand, Foot and Mouth. If I can't get it under control by Tues, back to the ped we go.

Poor kid.

In other health related news....overall S has been doing very well. She's been back at daycare for a month now and we've only been to see the pediatrician twice. (Yes, this is a new record.) I have a much longer health post to share, but it will have to wait until early next week.

Oh, and I tentatively did get a job. (Once I pass the training phase) I will be working from home as an online adjunct instructor using my M.Ed. in Bilingual/Multicultural Education. This is fantastic news and I have another interview for another online adjunct position today in fact. So working both will provide enough of a cushion for us to be able to take a placement of our son as soon as our home study is complete. (Will post an update on that too).

So, if you are keeping track: (this is mostly for me)

I owe you a post about:

S's health

A new update on our current adoption situation

What we've done to our house (I didn't mention this because I wanted to take pictures first)

I'll get to them soon. Promise. Until then. Have a great day!

A Warm Day at the Park!

2009-08-29T21:51:00.006-04:00

We went to the park today and although it was super hot, we still had fun. Well, honestly, S had fun. Me? I don't do heat well so I basically sweat the entire time, but S loves the park. So we went. This first picture makes S look like she's swearing in Italian. Too funny. The reality is that she saw a camera and though we wanted to take more pictures of her peeling fingers (will post about those tomorrow). But still a funny pose.

S went swinging.

I can't tell what she was thinking but I love this picture too. She's concentrating? Maybe?

Love her curls!!

This is her usual pondering expression.

I like her smile better and we are finally starting to get her smile more often.

She's usually happy but forgets to tell her face!

Yoga!

Posing AND smiling!

She drank almost half a liter of water!

After this trip we went to get ice cream.

Not good for my diet but definitely good for my soul.

We had a nice day. Did you?

I Was Trying to be Nice

2009-08-26T09:43:00.003-04:00

I really was trying to be nice.

I went to Walmart this morning to pick up a memory card for my camera so I could ebay all of our ~~junk~~ stuff and then it happened.

The first cart I grabbed was old and worn out. The handle bar was a little rusty and it was missing that flap the kids sit on in the front of the basket, but since S wasn't with me - no problem!

You see, I felt a little sorry for that shopping cart. I bet nobody ever used it anymore because of its appearance - so I took it. I'm a sucker like that.

So I wandered the aisles, not really needing much and realized, not only did my cart look bad, it didn't steer well either. Like barely at all.

But I stuck with "Old Bessy" as I tried to maneuver her around the store.

It was starting to get seriously annoying.

So I went to the back of the store to get the memory card when I heard a noise and felt a warm trickle running down my leg. Old Bessy's ~~legs~~ wheels locked up and my cup of ~~expensive~~ wonderful still-almost-full coffee flew out of the top of the cart and all over me and the floor.

I mustered an apology to the salesclerk who had to clean up the mess in aisle 22, grabbed my stuff out of Old Bessy and I ~~flipped her the bird~~ bid her a fond farewell and raced out of the building.

That's what I get for feeling sorry for a shopping cart.

Back in the saddle again....

2009-08-23T22:10:00.004-04:00

Not the teaching saddle. Not yet anyway.

Interview last week went well. But it was a no. (Or it would have been had they been thoughtful enough to call). No news is NOT good news in this case. It's bad news. :(

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for a teaching position and then two interviews this week for online adjunct college positions. I won't tell you which one I want more because I really have decided that the right opportunity will present itself.

This week holds a lot of promise.

I am so thankful that I'm open to the possibilities and over the negative "woah is me" of last week.

Seriously though, with a kid this cute, how could I not be thankful?

Will Work for a Decent Salary or Not...

2009-08-19T14:07:00.005-04:00

**** UPDATE****

I got a call at 5pm tonight asking me to come in for an interview in the morning. Great, great school. Good fit, but not sure what to do....

************************

So I’m still on the quest for a teaching job. Did I mention that the first day is next Monday? Meet the teacher is, um…tomorrow!! So far I can’t even seem to get a nibble, but I decided that however it works out – it WILL be okay. Positive thinking helps, right?

Cons of Teaching:

1. Long commute (all jobs are far 35 min-hour each way).

2. Less time with S and M (noticed I separated them for those of you who think S&M is funny!).

3. Pure exhaustion from returning to the classroom after two years off.

4. Weekend/nights spent lesson planning/grading etc.

5. Have to wait until May or June to adopt (if baby is available).

Pros of Teaching:

1. Save money since I would have my own health insurance.

2. More money means less debt (no debt actually).

3. More money means Starbucks(I know silly, but I love their coffee but can’t bring myself to buy it when I’m not contributing financially).

4. Feeling like I’m being productive and good at what I do.

5. Putting my ~~too~~ many years of education to use.

6. Oh, and the kiddos….I miss the kiddos. Although I am a bit worried that this came last on my list.

Now if I don’t get a Teaching job:

1. We can spend more time with M’s family in Germany at Christmas. (Almost a month instead of 10 days!)

2. We can take a placement of a baby sooner(like winter/early spring-ish)

3. I can finally start my own company of curriculum materials. I already have a website up and running, but need to organize my content to sell to homeschoollers/other teachers.

4. I can focus on grant writing to fund #2 on this list.

5. I can continue to focus on my health and weight (down 27 pounds already)

6. Play dates mid-week with my daughter. *

7. I can substitute teach at local schools and make some money, set my own schedule, and be able to stay home with S if her health declines or if she just needs more rest.(I let her stay home a day last week to just sleep!)

8. I’ve applied for some adjunct teaching positions for several universities (mostly online) so that income will help with adoption expenses.

9. I would still be able to do contract curriculum work on space/microgravity science.

10. Continue to sell items on ebay/amazon to help with adoption expenses. (already raised our application fee by selling stuff we just didn’t use! And still have so much to sell).

* S really needs to be in preschool. She has blossomed so much since starting preschool and is so happy. I meanridiculously happy at school. Our wonderful preschool does not have a part-time program for 2 year olds. So until I decide what I am doing – she’s going to stay in full-time. If I don’t end up getting an out-of-the-house-job, then we’ll move her to another school and she’ll go three days a week. Did I mention she’s learning Arabic, Chinese, and Spanish at school? It’s an amazing place. Oh, and she is using the potty there now!! (Now if I could get her to potty at home…oh well.)

So as you can see, I’m really in a good spot. If it happens, financially, it makes everything easier, but many things more difficult. If it doesn’t happen, financially, it makes everything harder, but many things much easier.

I’ll leave you with a picture of my gorgeous girl from a recent trip to the store. Have a great Wednesday!

Zone of Uncertainty

2009-08-17T10:15:00.005-04:00

We live in hurricane territory. Five years ago we got hit by two big storms in a row (none of which impacted us really, but that's another story...) and now there are two storms headed this general directions. Forecasters here call the gray shaded area of where the storm might hit, the “zone of uncertainty”.

This "zone of uncertainty" is where I am living right now. Both physically and mentally.

Let me explain.

In March, while S was in the hospital, I had to decide what to do about my teaching job. At the time, there was NO way that I could go back to the classroom. She was too sick and at the time I had a job working at the community college. So I gave up my teaching position with the very Christian statement of “someone needs this job more than I do.” I meant it then, but it is hard to mean it now. I guess I still mean it, because it IS true, but hard to swallow at the same time.

So no teaching job.

I also decided to take a year off working on my doctoral program. Due to reorganization of my program, there was no way that I could finish on my time frame – so I'm working on finding an angle to finish.

So no teaching job and no school.

We discussed moving to a different state, but that fell through because of jobs, budget cutbacks and the realization that it would complicate the upcoming adoption. So here we stay.

So no teaching job, no school, no move, oh and then I was ~~fired~~ let go from my other position.

So no teaching job, no school, no move, no work. I was going to be home with S.

Don't get me wrong, we had a great summer. I loved the time with my girl and we needed to sort out her health stuff.

But...since it was discovered that S is really okay (although we don't have any concrete answers still - another post coming soon) and honestly needs to be with other kids (our amazing daycare doesn't do part-time for 2 year olds) we put S back in preschool. She is the happiest I have ever seen her and we've managed to make it 3 weeks with no major kiddy germs! :) Go S!

So no teaching job, no school, no move, no work, no S!

I do have tons of work to do. We've completely reorganized the house and there is a ton of work still to do. The usual house/wife/mom duties keep me busy and I'm writing grants for the adoption (which could be a full time job) and writing curriculum for some homeschoolers, all while still hunting for a job.

I admittedly got in late in the game. I didn't decide that maybe I should try to go back into the classroom until end of July and the first day back for teachers was today. I've applied to 17 schools and got one interview. It's just so competitive out there right now due to budget cuts - there are hundreds of applications for each position.

I'm not really being as negative as I sound, but I will admit I am discouraged. I feel like I missed an important memo. Or maybe not.

It will work out, exactly as it is supposed to. I know that. But patience is NOT one of my virtues.

But for now, I am still living in the zone of uncertainty.

Random Thoughts

2009-08-12T11:16:00.004-04:00

1. This morning I discovered a church sign in my area that said they were having an illusionist. Made me laugh.

2. I think S brought home a cold from daycare. Fun times.

3. After much discussion about hot coffee with S this morning, she threw her doll at me, hitting my coffee cup, and spilled hot coffee all over me. GREAT way to start the day. :)

4. S amazes me with her German speaking. She said, "Mama color?" and then "Papa malen?" She switches between the two so fluidly. She amazes me. (Oh and to you German speakers, malen is paint - but close enough. She also calls crayons markers...one thing at a time.)

More soon promise and big changes ahead....

Birthdays, Shirley Temple, Cars, Guns and Family

2009-08-08T20:21:00.016-04:00

So I am currently upstate visiting my dad (came up with my brother) for his 60th birthday!!!

We've had a lovely visit. We went through some old pictures of my family. Here is a picture of my grandmother at 7 when she was in a movie with Shirley Temple. She won some dance contest at 5 and was discovered and had a 3 year contract at 7 in Hollywood. Cool.

Here is my great grandfather Milton.

Here is a picture of my grandfather (bottom L) and his siblings. The pic was taken in 1927.

We hung out with my Step-mom Margaret's family. Here I am shooting a gun (which I've only done once before). I did pretty good and hit the general area of the target on both shots. I only took 2 shots and hit on both. Impressive, eh?

We went for a ride in my Dad's replica of 1898 Ford. This was Henry Ford's first car. It's called a quadricycle and was fun to take for a spin.

Its been a weekend full of reminising, inappropriate jokes, and good restful sleep (without having to keep an ear out for the baby...)

Happy 60th Birthday Pops! I love you!!!

We'll have to do it again. Soon.

Not the turning 60 thing, but the visit.

Love you.

If Money Only Grew On Trees

2009-08-04T08:00:00.003-04:00

As I have mentioned before, we had some issues with our adoption agency that we used for S. I'll get into that at some point, (maybe) but we had decided to use them again. Yes, there are other agencies, but we KNOW what the issues are now and have been through the process once. We know what to expect.

But then...we got word that they wanted more money upfront. This was bad news...

Let me explain.

When you begin the adoption process, you pay a fee to apply to the agency (usually between $300-$500). The next step is your home study and these can range from $1300-$1500 plus additional fees for criminal history clearances and physicals.

Because finances were tight, I planned on writing some grants from various agencies (mostly faith-based) to assist in the funding. In order to apply for the grants, we have to have a completed homestudy. So to get to the point that we could apply for grants, we planned on spending around $2000.

But then....

Our agency changed their pricing structure. They wanted us to pay the application fee, homestudy fee, AND the adoptive parent coordinator fee. So all told, they wanted essentially $3,500 up front. Um...yeah. NO.

To complicate matters, they raised their other fees as well, making the second adoption about $5,000 more than S's adoption. And hers was so expensive!! (Mind you – I would have paid a million dollars for our precious girl, but at some point adoption costs get out of hand!) Once again, slightly irritated with the women who get knocked up for free, but I'm getting off topic. :)

More to come....

The Baby in the Box

2009-08-03T12:21:00.002-04:00

Ultimately, when our future child asks us why we decided to adopt them at the time we did, I will be able to tell about this little girl. This little girl was abandoned in a town nearby. She was left in a box by the side of the road. She was exposed to the Florida heat and had ant bites all over by the time she was found. But she was alive and needed a safe, loving home. It was then that I realized that my heart was ready for another baby. And not to sound all stalkerish, but I did email the Police Dept. in the area where she was found to see if we could adopt her. But I digress...

This event led to lengthy discussions between M and I about timing, work situations and such. And finances. Stupid finances! Oh how I wish we could just get knocked up for free like everyone else, but I can't (Which ultimately I realized I still haven't completely come to terms with). So finances are a BIG deal. I've been home with S just about all of her life and haven't been contributing much to the family finances. That's a problem, because although we are just fine – there is not much left to put toward adopting a second child.

We had brought up this topic six months or so ago, but then S got sick, I was in school, and went back to work and life was insane for a while. So we tabled it for a while.

And then there was the girl in the box.

To be continued...

Child Labor Laws Don't Apply

2009-08-02T11:59:00.001-04:00

S is such a great helper. At two she can already:
Dust (seriously with a swiffer duster)
Sweep (though not successfully. It IS a hard skill. I'm still trying to master it at 32!)
Flush toilets on demand (usually without anything in them like toys, etc.)
Cook dinner
Bake a cake with Daddy
And steam clean the rugs.
She's so amazing! Now if we could just master not spilling cereal on the floor, dumping milk on the carpet, shredding rolls of toilet paper into tiny pieces, and wiping her grubby hands on my walls - we'd be in business.

Maybe next year? :)

Suprises in the Mail

2009-07-28T02:08:00.000-04:00

Dear Mama,

Today we got a big box from this place called Land's End. You made me try on the clothes that were inside, even though I didn't want to. First you had me try on my snow pants and jacket.

Ummm...Mama, its JULY in FLORIDA. What do I need snow pants for?

Oh, I get it.
We're going to see Oma and Opa in Germany for Christmas!

Cool. Glad we got that cleared up!

Next you had me try on a new bathing suit. I really liked it and twirled around so much I got dizzy and fell down!

I wonder what will be in the next box?

Love,

(Edited by Mama: This just eludes to my bargain shopping I have been doing on the web as of late. BARGAINS on snow clothes (20 bucks for a Land's End snow suit!). You know, because it's 100 degrees outside. Think outside of the box people!!)

DYNO-MITE

2009-07-23T02:30:00.000-04:00

How do you keep a 2 year old occupied while in a doctor's waiting area?
It's a simple equation really.
S + random dinosaurs left in play area = happy girl = happy momma

I'm Gonna Work for SeaWorld Someday!

2009-07-15T02:21:00.000-04:00

Lions and Tigers and Giraffes, Oh My!

2009-07-10T01:54:00.000-04:00

Today we went to the zoo with my friends Shannon (not pictured for some reason - sorry Shannon!) and Laura and little Noah! S and Noah are very close in age and they haven't really had a play date in a while. (A long while). So we drove out to a local zoo (farther than our local zoo). How cute are these two?
We saw giraffes and some people were feeding them. I was too cheap to buy giraffe food, so poor S had to settle for looking. Honestly, I thought the huge animals would scare her, but she was truly fascinated.
But boy was it hot! I hate summer in Florida to begin with and was so surprised that I agreed to an OUTDOOR event in July. But we had a great time. The animals were fun and after we had lunch (corn dog nuggets – yum) we took the kids into the splash park.

S loves splash parks, and this one was no exception. However, a worried mommy concerned about parasites that frequent lakes and standing water here in FL, did NOT like this water play area. At all. There didn't seem to be enough chlorine or circulation and I was worried for the next few days that S had picked up some funky amoeba. (She didn't but whatever....I can worry, can't I?)

It was a fantastic day. Good friends and the kids were so cute. I told Laura that I hope that the kids get to play more and we're already looking forward to our next play date.

Helping

2009-07-03T15:12:00.000-04:00

Today S helped Daddy shop.

Or tried to.

She kept putting items in the cart.

Too bad they were all ramen noodles.

Come on kiddo, how about something healthy, or chocolate? :)

Too funny!

Uh oh...She Found Them

2009-07-03T15:02:00.000-04:00

Like most parents, we have multiple copies of S's babies who she sleeps with. She discovered the "spares" today. Here she is with all FOUR!! We have since hidden them well.