Creepy Puppet Guy

Alternately titled: "I Spent 26 Dollars for This?" or "Don't Touch That" or "So Much for the Christmas Spirit!" or "Man, I Sound Uber Bitchy in this Post" or "Apparently We Didn't Get It"....I could go on for days... :)

We did not enjoy the "Reindeer Romp" at the Orlando Art Museum tonight. We went because we wanted S to have some semblance of an American Christmas before we left for Germany. We're not decorating or doing much since we leave so early in December this year.

Here are the highlights:

• The cookies were tasty. Store bought. Publix I think. S loved them!

Here are the lowlights:

• I thought it was at the Mennello Art Museum, so we decided to part at M's work and walk. Although the real event was nearby, walking that far with a 32 pound toddler who would neither walk or let M carry her, makes for a sweaty, tired Mama before the event even began. The trek back was even worse. 
• There was this lady (elf?) by the door with a coat with many pockets. Essentially it was like a wearable advent calendar. The kids stood in line to reach into her pockets to pull out a toy, or a piece of candy. My kid was too scared to reach in, so I did it for her. M was holding her at the time. I secretly wanted him to reach in, but I thought that would be a bit too creepy. 
• This event is NOT for toddlers. Non mobile infants strapped to carseats would enjoy it, but whoever thought advertising for toddler attendees was a little misguided. Here's why: Imagine a room full of awesome trees and beautiful gingerbread houses and you can't touch any of them!!
• My kid was tired and not in the best mood. I was tired and not in the best mood. M was tired and not in the best mood. Seeing a pattern? 
• I learned tonight that my kid was afraid of Hello Kitty. Good to know.
• She kept glancing at Santa looking terrified, so no 45 minute wait in line for Santa this year! :(
• The wait for the balloon animal guy was too long, so we decided to move on. My kid simply wanted a balloon doggie, but asking a 2 year old to wait in line when cranky = no fun for all.
• We finally made our way to the craft section, where my kid decorated a paper tree. She didn't want to add them to the tree mural on the wall, so she walked around carrying them for the rest of the night.
• We watched a puppet show. The.Worst. Puppet. Show. Ever. Personally, I find puppeteers creepy to begin with, and this guy was no exception. My kid started to fall asleep during the puppet show if that gives you an idea of its entertainment value. Imagine draping a sheet over a chair and putting on old Christmas songs and acting them out with sock puppets. That would be a few steps up.
• As we watched the puppet show, we had to dodge the huge carpenter ants that were crawling all over the area. I sure hope a portion of the 26 dollar donation I made goes toward pest control.

I don't mind donating for the arts. I really don't. But there is no way I will be attending this event again.

Heck, I'll even send the museum 26 bucks next year, just for the priviledge of NOT attending. 

Speed Dating for Adoption

I know it's impractical of me, but sometimes I wish they had speed dating for adoption.

Hear me out....

What if a group of potential adoptive parents gathered in a room with a group of potential birthmothers? There was a "speed dating" round, where we could all meet and then those interested could contact the ones they "like"  and could potentially move forward.

I'm not oblivious to the problems for all parties from meetings like these. Can you imagine how overwhelming this would be for a birthmother? Also consider the raised expectations of all parties that "today might be the day!" Side note: I wake each morning thinking, "Today might be the day..." The air would be heavy with anticipation and many would leave unsatisfied and unmatched. 


Developing your family profile is like preparing for a round of speed dating.


Umm...just so you know....I wasn't good at dating, speed dating or any other kind....just ask anyone who has know me prior to M! :)

I feel so awkward right now - stressed over presenting our family in the best light so that potential birthmothers will "LIKE" us.

I fret over each little detail of our family profile.

Are we funny enough?
Do S look happy enough?
Are we too eager? Not eager enough?
Too fat? Too thin?
Too boring? (Life with us is certainly NOT boring, in my opinion).
Too Christian, not Christian enough?

The reality is that we are just like many families. Neither perfect or perfectly normal.

We are your fairly normal, bilingual, multicultural household with a two parents, a toddler, a cat, a minivan, a house on a lake, enough to be comfortable, faith, loving and supportive family and friends, a lot of laughter, and an abundance of love.

How do you put yourself out there and try to make yourself appear to be "more worthy" than another family?

Families seeking adoption are there for a reason. Heartache due to child loss, infertility, some feel called to adopt, or a whole host of issues that led them to turn to adoption.

This occurred to me as I was talking to Lianna and we were discussing presenting our profiles to the same location. This means that the same potential birthmother could be looking at BOTH of our profiles and deciding who gets the honor or raising her baby.

But you see, I know Lianna's story. It's just like mine - at least the heartache part is...
I want them to be parents more than anything.
More than myself? Probably - because I already have S.

See the dilemma?

I know, I'm a little slow in realizing all of this adoption stuff - but it never really occurred to me that we would be "competing" against other couples for a child.

But on the other hand, I have no doubt that our child (or twins) will find us....


All I can do is put the best and most realistic version of ourselves out there. Pray for patience. Pray for peace and know whoever the birthmother chooses,  it is the right decision.

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

—Romans 8:25

Amen.

Adoption Q and A

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about adoption. I had a conversation about adoption with my new blogger friend Lianna, and there were a few things that she asked that I thought were important to share.

1. Why the lack of real names on our blog? 
Our birthmom (whose story I haven't completed) struggles with addiction and lives in the area. With her history, we feel that it is safer for us all to not have a fully open adoption at this time.

2. Why not foster/adopt? 
My journey through infertility was one that broke my heart. It broke my spirit. It made me feel like a failure despite all of the other successes in my life. Although it has since mended quite a bit because of S, I am not mentally or emotionally prepared to welcome a child into our lives and have them removed from our lives. Yes, adoption has risks - but the more I can buffer my heart from those risks, the better.

3. Why did you not pursue fertility treatments? Why adopt?
M is adopted. So is his sister. With my ovarian condition, the odds were not good, and if we invested all of that money into trying to create our "own" and it didn't work....I simply wasn't interested in continuing to "fail." M and I discussed going the IVF route for this baby, but ultimately decided that adoption was a better option for us. Why created something new, when there are so many children that need safe and loving homes? Do I think we might "try" again (or adopt again) in a few years....YES! After all, we have a minivan, a big house, and even bigger hearts. There is plenty of room! :)

4.What about the risks of a failed adoption?
We feel that if an adoption situation fails then that simply means that child is not supposed to be ours. Will we be heartbroken? Of course!! But our firm faith in God simply says that our child will find us.

5. Where are you in the adoption process?
We have our homestudy interview on November 30th. We only have a few more documents to complete (and due to S's illness, I am WAY behind!). As soon as our homestudy is complete, I will submit our applications for grants and loan funding. Then the waiting begins!

6. Are you locating your own birthmother?
Yes and no. Maybe so. Not sure. Our current agency does not actively recruit birthmothers. They might get wind of a situation that would work for us, but that is a MIGHT. So we are seeking out other resources. We're planning on using social media (twitter, etc.) to try to network with someone who might know of someone....also we are looking at an agency in AL that has a small application fee and nothing until you get a placement. There is also a school in Northern Florida that is for pregnant teens and I'm contacting them about potential situations. As I've said before, our child will find us. (The key is being patient....speaking of that- S has taken to saying , "It's coming. Be patient!" a bunch lately. Usually it is in reference to the TV taking time to warm up, but what a great reminder! She also calls her baby brother to be, Bukas).

If you happen to know of an adoption situation that might work for us (Full Caucasian boy or b/g twins) or want to ask questions, make recommendations, etc....our email address is ourlittleerdnuss@gmail.com.

Thanks and please remember to vote daily (link on right). We have been bumped off the Top 10 and are no longer leading the Personal category.

HEALTH UPDATE: S got a clean bill of health from her cardiologist on Monday. No fever. Still not quite herself, but hopefully will be soon. It's so nice to have my sweet, snuggly girl back. Off to the dermatologist this morning. Will report later. Ciao!

My Poor Girl

Is sick.

Like sick, sick.

As in, coughing so much that she gasps and chokes.

I'm watching her like a hawk and hoping to avoid a trip to the swine infested ER. We're headed to the ped in the morning after cardiology.

Our trip to Jacksonville was not fun (except the brief good hours S had while visiting Lianna). We had a great talk about adoption.

Oh and today I got a contract to develop an online course. The amount that I will be paid is exactly the amount of the check I sent to our agency. God does provide!

More when I know more....

Until then, if you are interested in more of S's story :  click here.

Thanks for all the support. Please vote daily using the link on the right.