Germany

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Now to update a bit....

So I am coming to you live from the back of the van as we drive up from Frankfurt to M’s hometown. S is finally asleep (more on this later) and we are about an hour away. It has been a very, excruciatingly long day.

The day started out well due to my poor math skills. I thought our suitcases were overweight, but turns out I calculated kgs incorrectly and all of our suitcases were fine. Great news. Stupid metric system! J

We dined at Macaroni Grill in the airport and then headed out to our gate.

S was so fascinated by all of the planes and by the train that we had to take to get out the terminal. She was in a great mood and I remember thinking how fortunate it was that this was the case. She was tired and so I hoped it would be a brief awake period and then a nice airplane snooze. Boy was I wrong!!

As we were waiting to preboard, I smelled it. Yep, mine was the kiddo that stunk up the plane before takeoff. Awesome.

We did bring a car seat for her, which turned out to be a great idea because there is no way she’d be comfortable (or safe) in an adult seat. Lufthansa just installed these touch video monitors and to my surprise and delight, there was a Disney video montage.

All started off well. The lights were dimmed. S was snuggling in her car seat watching Mickey and was started to snooze when the lights were turned on for beverage service. Ping. S was wide awake! It was already 10 pm Florida time and I expected to be happily dreaming after my choice beverage. (A Bloody Mary if you want to know. Made with too much vodka, and I had to listen to my 2 year old say Bloody Mary for the next hour!)

So as for the sleeping, no such luck.

We turned the onboard TV on. And off. We tried in the car seat. And in my lap. We tried singing and rocking in the back of the plane. Nothing worked.

Somewhere in this part of the story her diaper leaked and she was soaking wet, so she got a full outfit change.

Also in here somewhere was when I didn’t see a full glass of water in this snazzy cupholder they have near the top of the chair and poured ice water all over me. I didn’t have a full outfit change (or any extra clothes) so I was shivering for the next few hours.

And her behavior went south. Like far south. Like South Pole south. Exactly what you want to have happen when you are stuck 35,000 feet over the Atlantic.

She started kicking the seatback in front of her. I had to physically hold her feet for more than an hour. When I took her out of the seat because she wouldn’t stop, she pinched and hit me. I even put her in timeout in the back of the plane.

And then she did it. She stuck her finger in her mouth, covered it in spit, and then wiped it on my face.

I was shocked, stunned, and could totally understand why people drink. I thought she was playing the first time, but when she went in for a second smear, I was done. Just done!

Immediately she went back in her car seat. Screaming ensued. She cried. I was so tired and cried too. By now it was past midnight FL time.

After some pondering (not much) I turned Mickey back on and ignored her for the most part. I still had to hold her feet, but after about half an hour, she was out.

Until she work up an hour or so later screaming because she didn’t know where she was.

I gathered her into my arms and we went back to the back of the plane so she wouldn’t wake up the other sleeping passengers.

The cycle continued. She misbehaved, got put back in her car seat and then in desperation, I asked her if she would snuggle one last time. She promptly fell asleep on my shoulder and slept another hour or so. By now it was almost 4 in the morning Orlando time. She woke up screaming again just minutes before the breakfast lights came on.

And she was in a good mood. (I was not.)

Funny how I can ride hundreds of parables on the ZERO-G plane, but this flight somehow made me airsick. Exhaustion maybe…but I spent the final hour of the flight getting sick in a tiny airplane bathroom. Awesome…ahem….not really.

As happy as we are to be here, I could live with being teleported next time instead. Someone want to get right on that for me?

Update:

After a 3 hour nap the whole way up from Frankfurt, S was in a fantastic mood. We are all in bed now (9:00 local time) and will try again tomorrow. I’m so happy to be here. I had forgotten how beautiful it is and how much I love it here.