In the Still of the Night

Everyone in my house is sleeping right now. Everyone but me.

I am reveling in the stillness. In the chaos that has been our lives for the past weeks, it is nice just to have a little peace and quiet.

The kids are in their beds. Notice I said KIDS. It still amazes me that this little guy is ours. Isn't he perfect?

I have so much to share:

About how much this guy is loved by his parents. All of them.
About open adoption.
About how in some ways I feel like I adopted a newborn and two teenagers at the same time and I'm trying to reconcile that.
About life in a hotel with a newborn in rural Indiana.
About life with two kids and how I never feel like there is enough of me to go around.
About love.

This blog needs a revamp and a new name. Any suggestions?

I promise to return as soon as I can. My mother in law will be here in a few days so hopefully I will be able to tear myself away from L to post more about this crazy life I'm living.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

A Son

She said : Thank you for giving him the life that I couldn’t.

I said: Thank YOU for giving him life that I couldn’t.

Tears were cried.

Papers were signed.

Hearts were both full and empty.

Aching and joyous.

We did not say good-bye to them, as our lives are now intertwined.

After all, we share a son.

And he is so loved.

True Beautiful Bittersweet Love

He’s beautiful.

Papers aren’t signed yet.

I thought I knew what love looked like, but as I watch his birth mom gently stroke his hair and ear last night as she held him, I saw love.

True.

Beautiful.

Bittersweet.

Love.

The Journey from Here to There

The fun thing about traveling, is that there are always unknowns.
Who knows if your luggage will make it to the same city that you are traveling to.
Who knows if you will make your connection.
Who knows if the hotel will lose your reservation…

Well on this trip, the unknown is different.
Who knows if we will arrive in time to see our son’s birth.

The call came in this morning about 9am.

I immediately put in place the well oiled plan that I had devised weeks ago.

I booked our flight (last minute on Southwest for 100 each – direct flight).

I called the preschool to let S know Grandma was going to pick her up today.

I called Grandma (my mom) to let her know that she needed to pick up S from school today.

The ironic thing is, M and I were taking this morning, mere moments from THE PHONE CALL, about how today would not be a good day for the baby to come. Apparently this baby already has a mind of his own.

My mom is having guests over for Bunco tonight. M had a few really large meetings today.

The house, inevitably, wasn’t clean (sorry Mom!)

The pest control guy came this morning. Note to self, if you sweep your floors prior to the pest control guy spraying for bugs, you may want to make sure you finish said sweeping prior to the application of bug spray or all of your sweepings may end up stuck to the floor. Oh well. Live and learn.

S put on two different sized socks. My shower would have been faster if I had used body wash to wash instead of conditioner. Oh well.

But we made it to the airport (due to  last minute help from my brother – thanks D!) and even managed to grab a sandwich prior to boarding. We’re not sitting together, but I’m sitting next to a family with a 5 month old baby boy. He’s so tiny…and then I think to myself - “How could I have forgotten?” There was a time when I had every inch of S memorized. I could recite her stats, feeding schedule, etc. but now…I can’t remember any of it. Must.Be.Present.

We’re in for a wild ride. The baby isn’t here yet, as far as we know, but there is a great chance that we’ll miss the delivery. More soon.

UPDATED:

The baby arrived at 3:23 today while we were enroute. He’s beautiful. More soon.

Quick Update

We heard from the agency tonight.

They did finally get in touch with our birthmom. She didn't call because nothing had changed and she had no updates for us or for the agency.

She said she would call us tomorrow (Sun.).

She has another doctor's appointment on Monday and just had one last Thursday which makes me think she's close....

More when I know more.

Thanks for all the happy thoughts and prayers. They seem to be working!

- Us