I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about adoption. I had a conversation about adoption with my new blogger friend Lianna, and there were a few things that she asked that I thought were important to share.
1. Why the lack of real names on our blog?
Our birthmom (whose story I haven't completed) struggles with addiction and lives in the area. With her history, we feel that it is safer for us all to not have a fully open adoption at this time.
2. Why not foster/adopt?
My journey through infertility was one that broke my heart. It broke my spirit. It made me feel like a failure despite all of the other successes in my life. Although it has since mended quite a bit because of S, I am not mentally or emotionally prepared to welcome a child into our lives and have them removed from our lives. Yes, adoption has risks - but the more I can buffer my heart from those risks, the better.
3. Why did you not pursue fertility treatments? Why adopt?
M is adopted. So is his sister. With my ovarian condition, the odds were not good, and if we invested all of that money into trying to create our "own" and it didn't work....I simply wasn't interested in continuing to "fail." M and I discussed going the IVF route for this baby, but ultimately decided that adoption was a better option for us. Why created something new, when there are so many children that need safe and loving homes? Do I think we might "try" again (or adopt again) in a few years....YES! After all, we have a minivan, a big house, and even bigger hearts. There is plenty of room! :)
4.What about the risks of a failed adoption?
We feel that if an adoption situation fails then that simply means that child is not supposed to be ours. Will we be heartbroken? Of course!! But our firm faith in God simply says that our child will find us.
5. Where are you in the adoption process?
We have our homestudy interview on November 30th. We only have a few more documents to complete (and due to S's illness, I am WAY behind!). As soon as our homestudy is complete, I will submit our applications for grants and loan funding. Then the waiting begins!
6. Are you locating your own birthmother?
Yes and no. Maybe so. Not sure. Our current agency does not actively recruit birthmothers. They might get wind of a situation that would work for us, but that is a MIGHT. So we are seeking out other resources. We're planning on using social media (twitter, etc.) to try to network with someone who might know of someone....also we are looking at an agency in AL that has a small application fee and nothing until you get a placement. There is also a school in Northern Florida that is for pregnant teens and I'm contacting them about potential situations. As I've said before, our child will find us. (The key is being patient....speaking of that- S has taken to saying , "It's coming. Be patient!" a bunch lately. Usually it is in reference to the TV taking time to warm up, but what a great reminder! She also calls her baby brother to be, Bukas).
If you happen to know of an adoption situation that might work for us (Full Caucasian boy or b/g twins) or want to ask questions, make recommendations, etc....our email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks and please remember to vote daily (link on right). We have been bumped off the Top 10 and are no longer leading the Personal category.
HEALTH UPDATE: S got a clean bill of health from her cardiologist on Monday. No fever. Still not quite herself, but hopefully will be soon. It's so nice to have my sweet, snuggly girl back. Off to the dermatologist this morning. Will report later. Ciao!